The most exclusive gated community in the universe—harp music and clouds mandatory. Entry requirements are fluid but seem to involve good behavior, belief systems, or being a golden retriever. Eternity is rumored to include infinite serenity, zero taxes, bingo, and all-you-can-eat buffets. Wi-Fi status unknown. No refunds on reincarnation.
AI-powered sex toys can learn what floats your boat. AI plus virtual reality and augmented-reality technologies equals “realistic,” can’t-tell-the-difference sexual experiences. AI-powered earbuds help individuals to communicate their desires and talk dirty with their partners. AI provides a safe, judgment-free, sanitary space for individuals to get their Diddy freak on.
Last night at Them’s Fightin’ Words Lounge, the C-word and the F-word got into an altercation. “The F-word called the C-word the C-word,” said the A-word. “No S-word, I thought they wuz gonna throw down,” said the N-word. “Hamas must be destroyed,” shouted the K-word from across the room.
Microsoft has responded to complaints from Windows 11 users who reported feeling sluggish after installing recommended system upgrades. Yesterday Microsoft released the first of six patches that will be distributed free to certified Windows 11 users by Microsoft-validated physicians who display the trusted “Windows 11 Capable” shield in their offices.