Lil’ Wayne Sentencing Postponed for Hemorrhoid Surgery

NEW YORK – Once again an attorney for Lil’ Wayne has requested a postponement of the rapscallion’s jail sentencing for attempted gun possession. The sentencing had been scheduled originally for last month, but Judge Charles H. Solomon agreed to a request for a postponement because Lil’ Wayne needed eight root canals and complex dental-implant work.

Now the rapper is seeking three weeks’ grace before he begins serving a year in prison because, his attorney revealed, Lil’ Wayne needs hemorrhoid surgery.

“This is a delicate situation, your honor,” said Wayne’s attorney Max Freeland in a court appearance this morning. “My client cannot be exposed to the rigors of prison sex when he’s got hemorrhoids the size of marbles.”

Stifling a smile, Judge Solomon replied, “We cannot afford to postpone your client’s sentencing repeatedly while he arranges for a complete makeover. This is prison, not Nip/Tuck..”

Nevertheless, the judge agree to allow Lil’ Wayne three weeks to have his hemorrhoids removed. The judge warned, however, that “your client will begin serving his sentence on March 23. So don’t be coming back in here saying Mr. Wayne needs extra time because he’s planning a sex-change operation.”

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