National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day
🐾 July 21 An observance for those who live under feline surveillance.
Founded in 2008, Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day is one on which humans are expected to justify their existence to creatures who believe they invented gravity. On this day cat owners are encouraged to engage in open dialogue with their feline companions, though most conversations will end in passive-aggressive blinking and a sudden sprint into the void.
Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day began after a Maine coon named Professor Whiskerstein allegedly typed “WHY?” into a laptop left open on a heated blanket. His human interpreted this as a philosophical challenge, not a keyboard nap accident.
Conscientious cat owners can prepare for this day by reviewing some of cats’ favorite questions. “If I knock this glass off the counter, will it finally shatter your illusion of control?”
“Why do you cry in the shower when I’ve already marked you as mine?”
“Is rent a human concept or just a punishment for not being born a cat?”
“Why do you smell like failure and off-brand chicken salad?”
“If I stare at the wall long enough, will it blink first?”
In addition to questions, there are rituals and observances associated with Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day.
In the litter box confessional, owners kneel beside their cats boxes and whisper apologies for every time they’ve said “not now.”
The tuna offering, as it’s name implies, must be served on a vintage saucer, followed by a 45-minute stare-off.
The laser pointer trial flips the script: now humans must chase the dot while cats judge their agility and emotional baggage.
On Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day, remember: your cat isn’t looking for answers. It’s looking for confirmation that you’re still beneath it. And if you dare respond with anything less than complete emotional transparency, prepare to find a hairball in your shoe and a cold stare from the windowsill.
