Friday, April 26, 2024
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Alito Supreme Court Nomination Assailed by Democrats

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WASHINGTON, D.C. – Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy led the chorus of Democratic voices howling in opposition to President Bush’s nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. to the Supreme Court.

Speaking to reporters in his office yesterday afternoon, Kennedy said, “This guy (Alito) is such a political Neanderthal he drags his knuckles on the ground when he walks. What’s worse, he’s clearly not female, which Harriet Miers—no matter how little we knew about her—certainly appeared to be.”

After the Miers and John G. Roberts nominations, Kennedy, like most Democrats, expected President Bush to nominate either a woman or a man who looked as if he might be gay to fill the seat of the retiring Sandra Day O’Conner. Thinking out of the box, however, the president nominated an obviously heterosexual male while boasting that he possessed “more judicial experience than any Supreme Court nominee for the past seventy years.” Indeed, Alito’s fifteen years spent on the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in Philadelphia are a major obstacle to his nomination as far as many Democrats are concerned.

“Judge Alito is clearly overqualified to sit on the Supreme Court,” said Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy. “His lengthy circuit court experience indicates that his judicial opinions are already well formed. I’d prefer to see a nominee who still has room to grow on the bench.”

Leahy also noted that Alito’s nomination, like that of legal eagle John G. Roberts, shows that Bush “is becoming overly impressed with credentials.” Leahy sees this as a disturbing trend, “especially if Judge Roberts turns out not to be gay.”

Conservatives, meanwhile, were dancing on their plantations at the news of Alito’s nomination. Best selling author Anne Coulter said she did not expect Alito to “pussy out” when it comes to turning back the judicial clock “like that Miers twit might have done.”

Vice President Cheney’s outgoing chief of staff, Scooter Libby, took time out from packing his office supplies to praise Alito, 55, for being the only judge on the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to vote against striking down a Pennsylvania law that would have required women to inform their husbands if they were going to be out later than nine o’clock at night.

Libby was also cheered by Alito’s vote against limiting the number of automatic weapons that persons with suspended drivers licenses could purchase in parking lots at gun shows. Libby further praised Alito’s opinion that a city could erect a display containing a creche or a menorah on public property as long as that display included an image of Frosty the Snowman or “some other clearly secular persona.”

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