Thursday, April 25, 2024
Music

Keith Urban Tour Sponsored by O’Doul’s

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NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Keith Urban, fresh out of a three-
month residency for alcohol abuse treatment at the Betty Ford clinic, will ease back into drinking on stage again with a short run of club shows in the United Kingdom and Germany beginning in April.

Paul Freundlich, the country singer’s publicist, confirmed that the shows will be sponsored by O’Doul’s, the beer that alcoholics drink when they’re not supposed to be drinking.

“Keith is eager to show his fans that he has his drinking problem under control,” said Mr. Freundlich. “That’s why he’s made O’Doul’s the official beer of the ‘Love, Pain & the whole crazy thing’ tour.”

According to the terms of Mr. Urban’s contract with Anheuser-Busch, makers of O’Doul’s, no other brand of beer will be allowed on stage, backstage, or on any of the official tour vehicles.

“This is key to Keith’s recovery process,” said Mr. Freundlich. “Keith just wouldn’t be Keith if he was nursing a Dr Pepper while his band mates and road crew were pounding Buds like there’s no tomorrow.”

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Following his club dates, Mr. Urban is expected to play arenas in Australia in May. By then he hopes to have progressed to Bud Light, said Mr. Freundlich, and if he has, Anheuser-Busch will progress right along with him.

“Clients like Keith Urban are an invaluable asset to the Anheuser-
Busch family,” said company spokesman Augustus Busch VI. “We are happy to support Keith no matter what his level of alcohol consumption.”

If all goes according to plan, that level will have reached warped speed when Mr. Urban hits arenas in the United States and Canada in June. If so, said Mr. Busch VI, other members of the Anheuser-
Busch family such as Bare Knuckle Stout or Tequiza will fill in for O’Doul’s.

“We’ve got forty kinds of beer on our set list,” laughed Mr. Busch VI, “I’m sure we can provide something that fits Keith’s mood.”

For the moment that mood is sober. Mr. Urban has denied all requests for interviews while he concentrates on his music and on getting reacquainted with his wife Nicole Kidman. He did release a statement shortly after leaving the Betty Ford clinic, saying that he was “saddened to learn of the death of Mrs. Ford’s father, Gerald Ford.”

In other news, Boy George is said to be having hissy fits because supermodel Naomi Campbell, who pleaded guilty to bashing one of her maids with a jewel-encrusted BlackBerry, will be allowed to wear gloves when she performs five days of menial tasks as punishment for her offense. Mr. George was obliged to sweep New York streets in his bare hands as part of his punishment for reporting a false burglary in 2005.    

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