Darwin Awards Canceled After Judges Declare Entire Species Eligible

The Darwin Awards were canceled yesterday after the judging committee unanimously declared the entire human species was eligible. The committee said it could no longer distinguish exceptional stupidity from “a typical Thursday.”

The decision followed a review of this year’s finalists. In three cases the “stupidity” that killed the nominee was already being taught in a management seminar. In a fourth case the nominee had taught the seminar.

The committee did leave open the possibility of one final award. Humanity’s nomination will be considered as soon as the species completes its entry form.

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