Jennifer Aniston Mocks Pitt for Adopting Jolie’s Kids

PHOENIX, Ariz. – Brad Pitt has filed a legal petition in Los Angeles seeking to change the names of Angelina Jolie’s children to Zahara Brangelina and Maddox Brangelina. His decision was met with scorn from his ex-wife, Jennifer Aniston. The Friends star declared that Pitt was “too lazy and too [hen-pecked]” to find children to adopt on his own.

“If Brad weren’t so busy following that woman around everyplace, he’d find his own Third-World child to adopt,” said Aniston. “With all the children on this planet who need good homes, it’s selfish to take the easy way out and ‘adopt’ two children who have already been adopted.”

The National Organization for Women (NOW) also criticized Pitt, accusing him of “grandstanding” for adding his name to the children’s.

“It’s obvious that Brad Pitt is exploiting this me-too adoption for publicity purposes,” said NOW president Kim Gandy. “We fail to understand why a strong, independent women like Angelina continues to allow Mr. Pitt to use her to boost his career.”

In other news: Charlize Theron has vaulted to the top of the list of female contenders for the 2005 Golden Raspberry Award as the result of her work in the recently released sci-fi thriller Aeon Flux. Theron, who won an Oscar last year for her role in Monster, bids fair to become the second actress in recent years to jump straight from an Oscar to a Razzie. Halle Berry achieved that segue when she won last year’s Razzie for her role in Catwoman. Indeed, some critics contend that Aeon Flux is Theron’s Catwoman.

“It’s not everyday that an Oscar winner’s scenes are stolen by her costumes,” said Roger Ebert, “but Charlize Theron turns that trick niftily throughout Aeon Flux. Her performance is bound for the High Camp Hall of Fame.”