Flash

Down with “Down the Shore”

philmaggitti 25 Views 0 min read
image of a middle aged man in a swim suit eating a sloppy hot dog at the beach
“Chilling downtheshore.”

“Downtheshore“ is the linguistic equivalent of wearing socks with sandals. It buggers logic, style, and grammatical decency; yet Philadelphians use it with a row-house defiance of such genteel considerations. Are they traveling downward? Is “the shore” a sentient being waiting below? No! They’re just going to the beach.

You May Also Enjoy

image of mobster pointing a gun

Talking in the Present Tense

philmaggitti

A concussion leaves Guido unable to speak in the past tense. One day a sinister-looking man in a pizzeria hears him say, “I get the stromboli when I’m here last week.” The man, a local mobster, thinks Guido is in witness protection. When Guido leaves the store, the man follows.

an image of a medium-size red-and-white shaggy dog

A Shaggy Dog Story

philmaggitti

Billy, a scruffy terrier, embarked on an epic quest to find a mystical, enchanted bone rumored to grant eternal joy. Through muddy fields and dark alleys he roamed, overcoming obstacles and adversaries. At last, beneath a weathered bench, he found a dirty, slightly chewed, ordinary bone—definitely  anticlimactic, yet curiously satisfying.

priest hearing young boy's confession

AI Invades the Confessional

philmaggitti

“Bless me father for I have sinned.” “And who hasn’t?” “It’s been four months since my last confession.” “Did you break a leg?” “Uh, no father …” “Is this going to take long?” “Well …” “Look, whatever you’ve done, I’ve heard it all. Your sins are forgiven. Now get lost.”

Leave a Reply