Wednesday, June 12, 2024

AMA Dropping Elitist Foreign Names for Phobias

CHICAGO—American Medical Association (AMA) board member Deter Camel, MD, MPH, HMFIC, ended weeks of speculation when he announced yesterday that the association will discontinue its practice of giving “elitist foreign names” to phobias. Dr. Camel made the announcement during his weekly radio address, which is broadcast live to AMA members in operating rooms throughout the United States.

“Let’s be honest,” said Dr. Camel, “nobody can remember, much less spell, names like aibohphobia (fear of palindromes) or arachibutyrophobia (fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of one’s mouth). Therefore, beginning with the announcement of the Top Ten New Phobias of 2021 this New Year’s Eve, the AMA will simply call a spade a spade—or fear of spades rather than negrophobia, if you will.”

Dr. Camel refused to entertain any questions regarding the make-up of the closely guarded new phobias list, but phobia watchers have already been talking about that list, which was leaked on i’m-ok-you’ several days ago. According to that list, the top ten new phobias for 2021 are:

Fear of Donald Trump
Fear of the angel at the top of the X-mas tree
Fear of 50 Cent
Fear of drivers whose heads aren’t visible
Fear of sticking to a toilet seat in a restroom
Fear of masks
Fear of Bitcoin
Fear of Dr. Fauci
Fear of exploding vape pens
Fear of Joe Rogan

Honorable mentions included: fear of drive-in movies, fear of cat food, fear of the garbage truck, fear of eBay, fear of ear wax, and fear of albinos.

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