Book of Daze: Don’t Drink the Cool-Aid Day

Don’t Drink the Cool-Aid Day is observed annually by people who suspect that widespread agreement is just peer pressure with better stationery. The rules are simple. Each participant must choose one thing that everybody else appears to accept without question and spend the day questioning it.

Acceptable subjects include corporate mission statements, restaurant tipping screens, extended warranties, bottled water, five-year plans, inspirational speakers, and the widespread belief that everyone needs a refrigerator connected to the Internet.

“You don’t have to prove everybody is wrong,” said Leonard Vickers, 61, a retired municipal purchasing agent who still keeps every receipt until the warranty expires. “You just have to ask why everybody suddenly started nodding.”

Problems arose during last year’s Don’t Drink the Cool-Aid Day when several participants questioned things that society had already invested considerable effort in not questioning.

One man asked why every workplace needed a mission statement when the mission was plainly to remain in business. Three employees at an accounting firm asked what “circling back” actually meant and were escorted from the building.

Participants are discouraged from questioning gravity, expiration dates, traffic lights, or whether the dentist really needs to know how often they floss.

Don’t Drink the Cool-Aid Day ends at midnight, when participants can resume accepting things normally. Most do. Leonard Vickers was last seen at 12:04 a.m. asking a security guard who exactly decided Don’t Drink the Cool-Aid Day ended at midnight. He has been asked not to return next year.

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