Celebrity Shockers

Britney Spears Changing Sons’ Names to William and Harry

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LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears filed a petition in a Los Angeles court yesterday seeking to change the names of her sons to William and Harry. According to Herb Webberstein, an attorney for Ms. Spears, “Britney feels she made a mistake when she named her boys Sean Preston and Jayden James.

“She actually approached me about ‘having the names annulled,'” Mr. Webberstein continued. “She wanted the boys to have names that are more classy and easier to spell. I explained that quickie Las Vegas marriages entered into when you’re drunk on your bum can be annulled, but names have to be changed legally.”

Mr. Webberstein also revealed that Ms. Spears has been calling her boys “Wills” and “Harry” instead of “Sean Preston” and “Jayden James” for some time now. She decided to make the change official because she thought that would make it easier for her to remember which is which.

Friends of the singer said the choice of names is another sign of Ms. Spears’ long-running fascination with Princess Diana.

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“Britney calls French fries ‘chips’ and potato chips ‘crisps,'” said one of Ms. Spears live-in cousins. “She calls her car hood a ‘bonnet,’ and instead of saying ‘like wow,’ she says ‘brilliant’ all the time. Most days we don’t know what the hell she’s talking about.”

Another cousin said she didn’t see any harm in changing the boys’ names “because they already have bad teeth and neither of them knows his name anyways.”    

If the public pratfalls of Hollywood’s overpaid, virtue-signaling drama llamas make your day as they make ours, check out these Celebrity Shockers — where meltdowns, mugshots, and micro-bikinis collide.

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