Sporting Life

LSU’s Pokey Chatman Remembered as Hands-on Coach

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BATON ROUGE, La. – Recently resigned LSU women’s basketball coach Dana “Pokey” Chatman, 37, will be remembered as a hands-on coach, said a trio of former players.

“She worked her fingers to the bone, and she expected the same from you,” said Tymeka Jones. “Yet despite being a strict disciplinarian, she wasn’t afraid to show you her soft side.”

When Coach Chatman resigned on March 8 “to pursue other career opportunities,” she left behind a satisfying 90-14 record in her three full seasons as head coach at LSU. Prior to that she had served the Lady Tigers in a variety of positions since 1991.

“Those of us who had a chance to play under her when she was an assistant coach knew she would make a great head coach,” said Shanana Flowers. “She had a way of bringing out the best in a player.”

Coach Chatman, a member of the LSU Hall of Fame, was a 1991 Kodak All-American point guard at LSU. She still holds the school record for most steals in a career (346).

“Pokey was an inspiration as a coach and a player,” said LaWanda Chisolm. “She liked to tease us that she still had the quickest hands in the game, and I think she did.”

In related news, LSU assistant coach Bob Starkey, who will fill in for Coach Chatman for the remainder of the season, told reporters that even though “no one could get a team worked up the way Pokey did,” he hoped to provide “a different sort of input for the girls.”    

The preceding is satire. Straight up, Skippy. No warranties are expressed or implied. For life advice, try a professional. For investment tips, try a dart board. For salvation, the gentleman in the robe has been handling that portfolio for 2,000 years.