National Lie to Your Therapist Day

2 weeks philmaggitti 19 Views 1 min read

a young woman sitting barefooted in a Wendy's parking lot — “Ommmm.”

(Because personal growth is exhausting and honesty is overrated.)

We celebrate today the time-honored tradition of paying $150 an hour to perform emotional stability like it’s community theater. This is your day, mental health illusionist. It’s your stage, your spotlight, and your chance to convince a licensed professional that you’re totally fine, really.

Start with the basics. “I’ve been journaling.” (You haven’t.) “I set boundaries this week.” (You ghosted your landlord.) “I’m really learning to sit with discomfort.” (You cried barefoot in a Wendy’s parking lot and called it mindfulness.)

Don’t stop there. Get creative. Tell your shrink you’ve been meditating. That you’ve forgiven your father. That you definitely didn’t text your ex at 2:14 a.m. on a Tuesday. Bonus points if you say it while maintaining eye contact and sipping from a reusable water bottle like a well-adjusted adult.

This isn’t deception, it’s self-care. You’re curating your narrative. You’re protecting your brand. You’re giving your therapist a break from the bleakness of your actual psyche.

And if you feel guilty? Good. That means you’re still capable of growth. Probably. Or maybe. Let’s circle back to that.

So go ahead. Lie through your teeth. Smile through the trauma. And remember: the real therapy was the performance you gave along the way.