postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Month: August 2006

Sporting Life

Mark Wahlberg Unconvincing as Vince Papale

philmaggitti 401 Views 2 min read

PHILADELPHIA – The only time Invincible captures Vince Papale is when the credits start to roll and clips of the real Vince, with his dark, shaggy hair, swarthy complexion, killer teeth, and 50,000-megawatt Joe Namath smile, fill the screen. If you were in a hurry to get out of the theater, you missed it. Too bad. It Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Demoted to Dwarf Object Status by IAU

philmaggitti 433 Views 2 min read

PRAGUE – The International Astronomical Union (IAU) adopted a resolution Thursday that effectively strips Tom Cruise of his status as a Hollywood planet. The controversial resolution was adopted after an initial proposal to add three new planets to the Hollywood solar system—Pamela Anderson, Mr. Cruise’ moon Jamie Fox, and the distant world known as Robert Read More

Politics

President Bush Says Troop Callup Not Backdoor Draft

Biff Scuzzy 483 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush told reporters yesterday that his plans to call up selected units of the Salvation Army in order to boost troop levels in Iraq and Afghanistan did not amount to a backdoor draft. In response to a question from CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, the president declared, “How can this be Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Dumped by Paramount Because of Annoying Laugh

Chip Hilton 424 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Paramount Pictures has ended its fourteen-year relationship with Tom Cruise and his production company, El-Ron Universal, because of Mr. Cruise’ annoying laugh. The move was announced yesterday by the chairman of Viacom, the company that owns Paramount. “A much as we like Tom personally,” said Viacom chairman, Sumner Redstone, “his goddamn laugh Read More

News

Ford Plans to Recall 24,000 SUV Drivers

philmaggitti 464 Views 3 min read

DETROIT – Concerned about the increasing rate of “irresponsible, negligent, and thoughtless behavior” exhibited by SUV drivers, not to mention escalating gasoline prices, Ford announced today that it is recalling 24,000 owners of its Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator series in the first of a planned schedule of recalls. “We have notified these persons by Read More

News

JonBenet Ramsey Suspect Confesses to Natalee Holloway Murder

philmaggitti 449 Views 3 min read

BANGKOK – John Mark Karr, who rocketed from shadowy insignificance to worldwide infamy on Wednesday by confessing to the murder of JonBenet Ramsey, has now fingered himself in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway. The forty-one-year-old school teacher made his second blockbuster confession in two days yesterday. “I was in love with Natalee Holloway,” said Mr. Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Aims to Support U.S. Troops in Iraq

Chip Hilton 393 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan told Elle magazine that she wants to follow in the footsteps of her idol, Marilyn Monroe, by “entertaining our brave fighting men one soldier at a time.” In a penetrating interview that lands like a smart bomb on newsstands today, the Herbie Fully Loaded actress said, “I want to do what Marilyn did when she Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Still Believes Iraq Had WMDs

philmaggitti 423 Views 3 min read

MALIBU – Count Britney Spears among the growing number of Americans who believe Saddam Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction as recently as 2003. According to a Harris Poll released July 21, half of all respondents—up from 36 percent last year—said they believed Mr. Hussein had WMDs when President Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq Read More