Woman Who Has Never Heard “Choosin’ Texas” Located in Delaware

WILMINGTON, DE — A Delaware woman believed to be the last person in America who had never heard Ella Langley’s “Choosin’ Texas” has been  identified, ending a nationwide search that began shortly after the song had become unavoidable.

Federal authorities said the woman is Marjorie Pritchard, 63, a retired courthouse stenographer who lives alone and keeps a handwritten inventory of everything in her freezer.

Pritchard said she had never heard the song, could not identify Langley from a photograph, and was unaware that Texas was currently being chosen.

“I thought people were still choosing Tennessee,” she said.

Authorities immediately cordoned off Pritchard’s bungalow while representatives from Spotify arrived to determine how she had escaped exposure. They examined her cell phone, car radio, laptop computer, and a Bluetooth speaker found on the back porch.

“This should not be possible,” said Darren Coyle, 38, a streaming-platform analyst for Spotify who carries three charging cables but routinely forgets his cell phone.

“Our preliminary models indicate Ms. Pritchard should have encountered ‘Choosin’ Texas’ at least seven times since breakfast.”

Coyle said the song has now reached virtually every known American environment, including gyms, restaurants, dental offices, youth soccer tournaments, gas pumps, and stores selling decorative wooden signs about family.

Pritchard was cooperative as technicians attempted to reconstruct her movements during the previous five months.

Her neighbors described Pritchard as pleasant but idiosyncratic. “She still listens to CDs,” one said quietly.

Spotify officials declined to discuss that possibility, despite finding a six-disc Sony changer in Pritchard’s living room containing Patsy Cline, Jim Croce, Tony Bennett, and three other albums purchased before 1998. They would only say that Pritchard’s account had been corrected and the song was now playing. At press time, she had heard it eleven times but declined to say whether she liked it.

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