T.J. Eckleburg, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus

An editorial-cartoon illustration of LeBron James demanding a trade from himself. Two LeBron Jammeses—one in a jersey, the other in a suit—accuse each other.

"We cannot coexist on this roster, and frankly, your hairline is a breach of contract."

LeBron James Is Demanding a Trade from Himself

PHILADELPHIA, PA — The NBA has dealt with disgruntled superstars before, but nothing like the news that LeBron James is demanding a trade from himself.… Read More

Dolly Parton Messaged Miley Cyrus through flickering hallway lights as the singer prayed beside a shrine while her fiancé watched a ghostly electrical apparition.

Miley prayed for a sign from Dolly. The wiring apparently took it personally.

Music

Dolly Parton Messaged Miley Cyrus

T.J. Eckleburg music 5 days

MALIBU, CA — The Department of Domestic Miracles has confirmed that Dolly Parton messaged Miley Cyrus. The late “Nine to Five” singer apparently manipulated hallway lighting… Read More

Pennsylvania Small towns face a mysterious invasion of vape shops as another storefront materializes before the eyes of a bewildered resident.

Nobody knows who shops at these places. Why do they keep multiplying?

News

Small Pennsylvania Towns Capable of Supporting More Vape Shops

T.J. Eckleburg news 6 days

MATAMORAS, PA — A landmark study released by the Pennsylvania Institute for Commercial Mysteries (PICM) has confirmed that Small Pennsylvania Towns, regardless of population, geographic… Read More

Urgent alerts overwhelm a bleary-eyed man at breakfast as his phone announces a sale, leaving him wondering whether patio furniture is a crisis.

Technology

Urgent Alerts: Our Never-Ending State of Emergency

T.J. Eckleburg tech satire 7 days

Thanks to the onslaught of urgent alerts, the average American can be hit with seven emergencies before breakfast without leaving the house. Six involve limited… Read More

Most Cautious AI Chatbot CareBot 7 smiles reassuringly as a frustrated woman discovers that Benevolux offers endless concern but absolutely no answers.

“For the love of God, I just wanted to know the capital of France!”

Technology

Tech Giant Unveils the Most Cautious AI Chatbot That No Longer Answers Questions

T.J. Eckleburg tech satire 1 week

SAN FRANCISCO — Benevolux, the artificial intelligence company valued at $900 billion, today launched CareBot 7, which it calls “the most cautious AI chatbot ever… Read More

Podcast graveyard illustration shows six defunct shows on tombstones, abandoned microphones, and an open grave awaiting the next failed podcast.

Six podcasts entered the cemetery. One is still broadcasting. Management has been notified.

Culture

The Cancelled Podcasts Graveyard: Six Losers That Discovered Silence

T.J. Eckleburg cultural commentary 1 week

Explore the cancelled podcasts graveyard, the final resting place of six once-popular shows Archetypes, created by Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, age 45, an American… Read More

Portable bidet enthusiast demonstrates his high-powered hygiene device at airport security, alarming TSA officers and blasting a startled squirrel with water.

The squirrel has retained counsel.

Technology

The Portable Bidet Brings the Arms Race to the Bathroom

T.J. Eckleburg tech satire 2 weeks

Personal hygiene is a determined affair. Some people carry breath mints. Some people carry Dude Wipes. Others carry a portable bidet, a rechargeable device capable… Read More

Netflix documentary depicts an empty dining chair beside a set dinner table, bathed in bleak winter light, suggesting a mystery that never existed.

Netflix investigators have yet to determine who wasn't sitting in the chair.

News

Netflix Documentary Requires Second Documentary to Explain Why Nothing Happened

T.J. Eckleburg news 2 weeks

LOS ANGELES — A Netflix documentary about an unsolved disappearance will be followed by a three-part companion series examining why its six-part investigation failed to… Read More

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