T.J. Eckleburg, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus - Page 2 of 2

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Passion or stability?

MD

Mavis Drouk, emotional escrow officer

Believed to be near Harrisburg, PA

Stability. Passion is what people choose when they still believe a staircase can be made entirely of sparks. Stability may not sing outside your window, but it does remember where the insurance cards are.

RC

Rufus Clenn, freelance thunder consultant

Last reported west of Tulsa, OK

Passion, obviously. Stability is just boredom wearing shoes with arch support. I want life to arrive late, smell faintly of lightning, and explain nothing until several lamps have been broken.

NV

Nora Vell, deputy curator of small regrets

Possibly sheltering in Eugene, OR

Passion is useful for beginnings, stability for the paperwork afterward. I prefer both in moderation, which is another way of saying I would like to be ruined briefly and then driven home safely.

Celebrity Shockers

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Still Undecided on Wedding Date

T.J. Eckleburg celebrity shockers, Tom Cruise 19 years

LOS ANGELES – An anonymous source at Cruise/Wagner Productions reports that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be close to settling on a tentative wedding… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Nicole Richie Celebrity Death Watch

T.J. Eckleburg celebrity shockers, Paris Hilton 20 years

The pending obituary of actress and author Nicole Richie was updated this week after The Simple Life costar had checked into a treatment facility that specializes in… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Suri Cruise Photos Expected to Fuel Stock Market Rally

T.J. Eckleburg celebrity shockers, Tom Cruise 20 years

The publication of the first pictures of Suri Cruise should drive many stock prices higher, financial analysts predict. The long-anticipated images, featured in an exclusive… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Angelina Jolie Buys Domain Names for Namibian Children

T.J. Eckleburg 20 years

SWAKOPMUND, Namibia – Angelina Jolie has created an endowment to fund the purchase of domain names for Namibian children. Ms. Jolie, the Goodwill Ambassador for… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Brooke Shields Suffering from Postpartum Elation

T.J. Eckleburg Paris Hilton 20 years

LOS ANGELES – After the birth of her daughter Rowan three years ago, Brooke Shields suffered a crippling case of postpartum depression, which she chronicled… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Britney Spears Birthday Message to Her Sister, Jamie Lynn

T.J. Eckleburg Britney Spears 20 years

MALIBU – Happy fifteen, Lil’ Sis. Can you believe it? Fifteen already? Before ya know it, yule be married with a husband and a baby… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Jennifer Lopez Fan Site Accused of Plagiarism

T.J. Eckleburg 20 years

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – A Jennifer Lopez fan site has been accused of plagiarism by Postcards from the Pug Bus editor in briefs, Phil Maggitti,… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Paris Hilton Bilked by Nigerian Internet Scam

T.J. Eckleburg Paris Hilton 20 years

HOLLYWOOD – Celebutant Paris Hilton has appeared before a grand jury again, this time to testify that she was bilked by a man calling himself… Read More

Next →

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ Scholars at the Royal Institute for the Advancement of Obvious Things have concluded, after eleven years of exhaustive inquiry, that people who speak at great length in meetings do not thereby become more correct. The findings have been submitted to a committee for review.

⚡ It has been determined by authorities in several jurisdictions that the phrase "I just want to be honest with you" reliably precedes the portion of the conversation one would most prefer not to have. Legislation is pending.

⚡ The Bureau of Perpetual Reassessment has announced that this is not, in fact, the most divided the nation has ever been, a distinction that continues to belong to a prior era when the disagreements concerned rather more consequential matters and people occasionally died over them.

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly arranged as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval ...

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

Read It All

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

The years do not accuse.
They simply pile up like newspapers you meant to read,
each one carrying news that is no longer news.

You think: I should have said that differently.
I should have stayed. I should have gone.
The mind is efficient this way,
filing the same cases under the same wrong headings,
finding them again at 3 a.m. in perfect order.

What surprises is not the weight of it
but the patience —
how regret waits,
how it has nowhere else to be,
how it sits across from you at breakfast
and asks for nothing,
knowing you will offer it everything
on your own.

The body slows.
The catalog does not.
You carry the unlived lives
the way old houses carry
the smell of people who are gone —
not haunting exactly,
just present,
just there,
just refusing
the simple courtesy
of leaving.