“Fame is fleeting, but Celebrity Shockers mugshots are forever.” — The Pug Bus Editorial Board Welcome to Celebrity Shockers, a comprehensive field guide to famous people behaving badly. Here we document the public unravelings, private implosions, and mystical absurdities that define our culture’s most sacred species: the celebrity in crisis.… Read More
The pop princess emerita is back on the loose, twirling through provocative Instagram posts and giving the culture vulture machine one more whirl of its sad hamster wheel. Britney Spears, patron saint of meltdowns, comebacks, and suspiciously pointed knife dances—has once again reminded us that freedom looks a lot like… Read More
Editor’s Note: This masterwork first dropped in 2005, back when Jennifer Aniston and her love life was a national sport and low-rise jeans were a crime scene. Consider this a lovingly restored artifact from the era when Friends reruns ruled cable, “Team Jen” merch was still a thing, and America… Read More
Meghan Markle will launch her branded perfume any second now. The super scent has been nearly two years in the making. Countless beavers, deer, and sperm whales have been sacrificed for the cause. Acres of parsely, sage, rosemary, and thyme have been harvested, crushed, and boiled in a huge cauldron.… Read More
Scarlett Johansson’s bum and American Express: the perfect fit. Ms. Johansson never leaves home without them. Scarlett Johansson: My Life, My CardName . . . Scarlett Johansson Born . . . November 22, 1984 Sign . . . gluteus maximus rising Childhood ambition . . . to have a really… Read More
HOLLYWOOD – In conjunction with what would have been Miguel de Cervantes’ 464th birthday, Tom Cruise has scheduled a press conference for this afternoon. Sources close to Mr. Cruise claim he will announce that work will begin soon on a major project—turning Miguel de Cervantes’ Don Quixote into an action movie. “Tom… Read More
After attending several meetings of DAMM (Drunks Against Mad Mothers), Britney Spears has decided to join the group, a former assistant revealed. In an exclusive, off-the-record conversation with THEM Weekly, the one-time aide said that Ms. Spears has met with the group three or four times “in a couple of… Read More
Vanessa Hudgens has more to answer for than a batch of mildly compromising vintage selfies that recently bubbled up from the molten core of the Internet, where amateur archivists and professional doom scrollers spend their days spelunking for digital fossils. The photos were apparently the warm-up act for a holiday… Read More
Lindsay Lohan arrested for DUI and cocaine possession yesterday, offenses that are, coincidentally, quite similar to the ones that occasioned her surrender to the Beverly Hills police six days ago. “Lindsay fell off the wagon and was dragged a few blocks,” said her representative, Leslie Sloan Zelnick-Sloan, “but she is… Read More
LOS ANGELES – The Spice Girls are reuniting for a world tour, and we can thank Tom Cruise for that. The diminutive actor is rumored to have stepped in and brokered the reunion deal after negotiations between Geri Halliwell (Old Spice) and the rest of the group had broken down.… Read More
LOS ANGELES – Former on-air personality Don Imus has been tipped to star with Tom Cruise in Talkback Mountain, the story of a radio talk show host of the same name who is run out of a small Western town after he mocks the sheriff’s handicapped daughter during a live remote… Read More
LOS ANGELES – Tom Cruise dismissed the global warming report issued by the United Nations as “a load of pseudo-scientific hooey” that offers “temporary bromides” instead of real solutions to the world’s temperature increases. Addressing a group of reporters at his son’s baseball game yesterday afternoon, Mr. Cruise demanded to… Read More
Comic-style illustration of Lindsay Lohan with flowing auburn hair and confident smile, created for a satirical story about her rehab for remedial English.
LOS ANGELES – Lindsay Lohan, whose grammar-challenged BlackBerry messages had all of Hollywood wondering if English was her first language, checked herself into a remedial writing-and-spelling program at an undisclosed location yesterday. The actress issued the following statement through her representative, Leslie Sloane Zelnik: “I have made a Proactiv decision… Read More
ROME – Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will exchange mood rings during a Scientology wedding ceremony this weekend at Odescalchi Castle on Lake Bracciano, twenty miles from Rome. According to a source inside the wedding party, the couple will merge their immortal thetans “for all eternity and beyond” in an… Read More
LOS ANGELES – An anonymous source at Cruise/Wagner Productions reports that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes may be close to settling on a tentative wedding date, perhaps as early as this month, perhaps not. The source also revealed that the couple will most likely marry in Europe or North America,… Read More
