Hillary Clinton Benefits from Selfless Vilsack Move

DES MOINES, Iowa – Hillary Clinton will reap the benefit of “a selfless political decision” by her one time presidential rival, former two-term Iowa governor Thomas Vilsack.

Governor Vilsack, 56, demonstrated “statesmanlike vision” by dropping out of the presidential race last month, said a press release issued from the governor’s campaign head-
quarters, and now he has “staked his claim to a place in history” by becoming the first 2008 presidential candidate to throw his support to another hopeful.

“That means something to me,” said Governor Vilsack, “to be remembered as the first major presidential candidate to put party over personal glory.”

The governor’s campaign manager, Craig Varoga, agreed.

“By withdrawing early Governor Vilsack exhibited the sort of courage that would have made him an excellent president,” said Mr. Varoga. “Throughout his nearly four-month campaign the governor demonstrated the sort of willingness to get in front of the issues that’s rare in presidential politics.”

Indeed, Governor Vilsack was the first Democrat to enter the race formally, the first to withdraw, and the first to endorse another candidate, after taking nearly a month to consider his rivals’ positions carefully.

“The governor had more than one feeler from other camps,” said Mr. Varoga. “Any number of candidates would have been thrilled with his endorsement, but at the end of the day he believed Mrs. Clinton came closest to approximating his ideals.”

One political observer, speaking not for attribution, credited Governor Vilsack with running “a textbook” campaign.

“If Tom had thrown his support to Hillary any sooner, it would have looked as if he was courting the number two spot on her ticket. By waiting an appropriate amount of time he made himself look vice presidential.”

There are some signs, however, that Governor Vilsack’s decision will not resonate with voters as much as it has with voting polls.

“Goodness sakes,” said Thelma Kingsford a seamstress from Des Moines. “I had just found out Tom Vilsack was running for president, and now I hear he’s dropped out and is supporting somebody else.”

In other news, the LSU women’s basketball team has decided to “honor the spirit” of its former coach Pokey Chatman by “going commando” during next weekend’s finals of the NCAA basketball tournament. Coach Chatman resigned abruptly just before the tournament began after she had been accused of having inappropriate sexual conduct with former members of her team.