philmaggitti – Page 2 – postcards from the pug bus

Top Ten Reasons Cats Aren’t Mentioned in the Bible

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WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Two things are certain about the bible: animals were harmed during its production, and cats are not mentioned … Read on

Culture

Portly Singles Kicked Off BeautifulPeople.com Launch PrettyFaces.com

philmaggitti 519 Views 2 min read

BOSTON, Mass. – Portly singles kicked off the elite dating site BeautifulPeople.com, the self-proclaimed “sexiest website in the world today,” … Read on

Blog

How to Understand the Tao Te Ching Without Actually Reading It

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The Tao Te Ching, a book of ancient Chinese wisdom, is roughly 2,500 years old, but nobody has figured … Read on

Religion

Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at About 150

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WEST CHESTER, PA—The civilized world was staggered yesterday by Jesus’ off-hand remark that there are roughly 150 people in heaven. … Read on

News

Atheist Brotherhood to Begin Unbaptizing Dead People

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WEST GOSHEN TOWNSHIP, Pa.–The Universal Brotherhood of the Confrontational Atheist (UBCA) will begin unbaptizing dead people next month, says the … Read on

Saints Alive

Saint Dymphna Patron Saint of Home Schooling and West Virginia

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WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Imagine you are a fourteen-year-old girl and you discover that your father wants to hook up with you … Read on

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

National One-Hit Wonders Day Quiz

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WEST GOSHEN, PA—Today we sing the praises of the one-hit wonder (OHW)—pop music’s most prodigious benefactor, the artist who keeps … Read on

News

Magic Mushroom Research Validates Sixties Stories

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BALTIMORE, MD — Researchers at Johns Hopkins University’s School of Medicine’s Internal Research Department have demonstrated that the sixties, a … Read on

Ass Hats

Carron J. Phillips of Deadspin is the Asshat of the Moment

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Inspiration, like god, works in mysterious ways. Just the other day we were inspired by a piece we … Read on

News

Yin and Yang Seek Divorce, Citing Irreconcilable Differences

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Brussels–Yin and Yang, one of the world’s most beloved and recognizable couples, has filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as … Read on

Weed

High Times Declares Five Strains of Cannabis Extinct

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NEW YORK—High Times magazine estimates that 98 percent of all marijuana strains ever created have gone extinct, and more … Read on

Culture

Top Ten Things That Will Fall Now That Roe Has Fallen

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The overthrow of Roe v. Wade, according to many in the chatterverse, signaled a trampling of all that’s good … Read on

Culture

Thoughts on First Visiting Wellsboro Cemetery

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The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow’r,
And all that beauty, all that wealth … Read on

News

PETA Warns Against Having Sex in Front of Your Pets

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Mommy, why is Daddy’s pee-pee in your mouth?

HAMPTON ROADS, VA—People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ (PETA) latest campaign … Read on

Culture

Wal-Mart Employees Embarrassed by Stock Decline

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MORGANTOWN, Penna. – The recent decline in the value of Wal-Mart stock has decimated company morale, threatened the social fabric … Read on