philmaggitti, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus

Zine art shows drive-thru restaurant precautions: a counter fight, pink gun firing, and a man weeping over a cold burger. Captures wait times and regret.

a soggy, bullet-riddled burger that still lacks the requested extra pickles.

How to Avoid Getting Shot at 1 a.m.–Drive-Thru Restaurant Precautions

The modern drive-thru is a miracle of efficiency: calories delivered at speeds that once belonged only to aviation. It is also, at times, a MMA… Read More

Overhead view of scrambled egg technique result: soft golden curds on white plate, copper pan, linen napkin, silver fork, rustic wood surface.

Yes, those are the correct curds. You're welcome.

food

A Meditation on Scrambled Egg Technique for the Serious Home Cook

philmaggitti food 2 weeks

Before we discuss scrambled egg technique, we must discuss the egg awaiting in its carton—ideally a hand-lettered kraft paper carton from a small-batch producer in… Read More

Split figure at table, one side animated and warm, the other calm and cool, with two coffee cups, reflecting anti-hero duality and conflicting perspectives.

Two positions held simultaneously. Neither entirely accurate.

Horoscopes

Anti-Hero and Your Zodiac Resumes

philmaggitti horoscopes 2 weeks

The details of the average person’s life are an affront to the universe. No wonder so many horoscopes contain dour Anti-hero predictions. To improve those… Read More

Arthur Plumm flees teens in Des Moines as his new phone smell fragrance emits 5G signals. A satirical take on tech-scent obsession from the archives of Pug Bus.

"Eau de Upgrade" provides five bars of signal and zero peace of mind.

Technology

New Phone Smell Now Available in Spray Bottle

philmaggitti tech satire 3 weeks

BELLEVUE, WA — T-Mobile has officially introduced Eau de Upgrade, a fragrance designed to mimic the intoxicating aroma of a new phone smell. The scent,… Read More

A lavish charcuterie board displays cured meats, artisan cheeses, honeycomb, cornichons, figs, grapes, olives, and crackers by candlelight.

The honeycomb cost eleven dollars and will be largely ignored.

food

What Your Charcuterie Board Is Missing

philmaggitti food 3 weeks

A charcuterie board is a personality assessment delivered horizontally, communicating in the universal language of cured meats and their concomitants that its architect has taste,… Read More

A fork sitting in The Thinker's pose wearing yellow Crocs.

Fork if I know.,

food

Foods for Thought

philmaggitti food 3 weeks

Food is now a form of expression, a signaling device, and a referendum on character. People no longer prepare meals so much as curate them.… Read More

A close-up of a small glass bottle, labeled Noma Projects Barrel Aged Wild Rose Balsamic Vinegar, on a wooden block in a cellar with a spotlight.

A bottle of Noma Projects’ Barrel Aged Wild Rose Balsamic Vinegar.

food

Dispatches from the Noma Projects

philmaggitti food 3 weeks

The Pug Bus food correspondent visits the Noma Projects in Silver Lake, where the balsamic flows and the shame does not The Noma Projects pop-up… Read More

Man in modern kitchen examines olive oil like a sommelier, surrounded by curated tools and ingredients that promise to transform your cooking habits

He bought a $58 bottle of oil and is now legally indistinguishable from a chef.

Culture

Three Pantry Items That Will Absolutely Transform Your Cooking

philmaggitti cultural commentary 3 weeks

Foodies talk about items that will transform your cooking in a tone of revelation as if they have just unlocked food. It is also the… Read More