Book of Daze Archives - Page 10 of 18 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Passion or stability?

Mavis Drouk, emotional escrow officer

Believed to be near Harrisburg, PA

Stability. Passion is what people choose when they still believe a staircase can be made entirely of sparks. Stability may not sing outside your window, but it does remember where the insurance cards are.

Rufus Clenn, freelance thunder consultant

Last reported west of Tulsa, OK

Passion, obviously. Stability is just boredom wearing shoes with arch support. I want life to arrive late, smell faintly of lightning, and explain nothing until several lamps have been broken.

Nora Vell, deputy curator of small regrets

Possibly sheltering in Eugene, OR

Passion is useful for beginnings, stability for the paperwork afterward. I prefer both in moderation, which is another way of saying I would like to be ruined briefly and then driven home safely.

"Can I get another six of these?"

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Amuse-bouche Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

There are only two kinds of people in the world: those who go to restaurants that offer amuse-bouche and those who do not. For the sake… Read More

"Rub a dud dub. I'm sloshed in the tub."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Cancel Plans Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Book of Daze Cancel Plans Day was founded in 2010 by Seattle software engineer Leona Bragg after she had bailed on a co-worker’s game night… Read More

a man about to butt dial someone by sitting on a cell phone

"I sit, therefore I send."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Butt Dialing Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 8 months

Every year people across the world celebrate Book of Daze Butt Dialing Day in observance of all the accidental phone calls they have made with… Read More

a man holding a garden hose and an ice cube

"Beats the hell out of me."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Reminisce About the Internet Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 9 months

There was a time when web pages took thirty seconds to load, the average download took three hours–while you prayed that it didn’t get interrupted–and… Read More

An angry looking woman scrubbing a floor.

"This sucks!"

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Clean One Corner of the Room and Feel Accomplished Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 9 months

On Book of Daze Clean One Corner of the Room and Feel Accomplished Day, we celebrate the illusion of productivity through targeted micro-cleaning. Whether it’s… Read More

an ear about to disappear down an earworm hoke

"No lame ear jokes allowed."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Earworm Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 9 months

“The cursed phenomenon of the earworm–the musical parasite that burrows into your brain and sets up shop without paying rent. It’s the mind’s version of… Read More

"Shopping well is the best revenge."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Therapeutic Shopping Day

pwsbuilder bookof-daze 9 months

Because nothing fills the void like a tactical air fryer.” Book of Daze Therapeutic Shopping DayOwes its celebration, if not its invention, to marketing intern… Read More

"Regrets, I've had a few."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze Reconsider a Rash Decision Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 9 months

Book of Daze Reconsider a Rash Decision Day was established in 1987 after a Florida man named Dwight “Twitch” Halvorsen impulsively changed his name to… Read More

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ Scholars at the Royal Institute for the Advancement of Obvious Things have concluded, after eleven years of exhaustive inquiry, that people who speak at great length in meetings do not thereby become more correct. The findings have been submitted to a committee for review.

⚡ It has been determined by authorities in several jurisdictions that the phrase "I just want to be honest with you" reliably precedes the portion of the conversation one would most prefer not to have. Legislation is pending.

⚡ The Bureau of Perpetual Reassessment has announced that this is not, in fact, the most divided the nation has ever been, a distinction that continues to belong to a prior era when the disagreements concerned rather more consequential matters and people occasionally died over them.

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly arranged as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval ...

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

Read It All

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

The years do not accuse.
They simply pile up like newspapers you meant to read,
each one carrying news that is no longer news.

You think: I should have said that differently.
I should have stayed. I should have gone.
The mind is efficient this way,
filing the same cases under the same wrong headings,
finding them again at 3 a.m. in perfect order.

What surprises is not the weight of it
but the patience —
how regret waits,
how it has nowhere else to be,
how it sits across from you at breakfast
and asks for nothing,
knowing you will offer it everything
on your own.

The body slows.
The catalog does not.
You carry the unlived lives
the way old houses carry
the smell of people who are gone —
not haunting exactly,
just present,
just there,
just refusing
the simple courtesy
of leaving.