News Archives - Page 29 of 34 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Clowns or Mimes?

Marjorie Finkelstein, 64, retired dental hygienist

318 Willow Street, Scranton, PA

Mimes. At least they have the decency to suffer in silence. A clown wants you to participate in his emotional problems while he honks a horn and falls down. I spent thirty-seven years looking into people's mouths. I have had enough forced entertainment.

Raymond Bickford, 51, commercial refrigeration technician

76 Chestnut Lane, Akron, OH

Clowns. You know where you stand with a clown. He has enormous shoes, a drinking problem, and a car full of accomplices. A mime pretends to be trapped in an invisible box and expects applause. My brother-in-law has been doing that at Thanksgiving for twenty years. Nobody pays him.

Sheila Lattimore, 47, assistant county tax assessor

142 Birch Road, Des Moines, IA

Mimes, provided they remain outdoors. I once hired a clown for my daughter's birthday party. He arrived forty minutes late, smelled like gasoline, and asked whether we had a ladder. The children still talk about it. My daughter is twenty-three.

News

Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Rumors Flood Internet

Biff Scuzzy Paris Hilton 20 years

CAIRNS, Australia – The recent death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin has occasioned a flood of rumors the likes of which have not been seen… Read More

an old-fashioned wooden rocker sitting on an empty porch as the sun rises

"The old man's empty chair."

News

Steve Irwin Crocodile Hunter Death Tops Stingray News

philmaggitti 20 years

The death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin has left the stingray world scrambling to effect damage control. Mr. Irwin, 44, died today after being stung… Read More

News

Ford Plans to Recall 24,000 SUV Drivers

philmaggitti 20 years

DETROIT – Concerned about the increasing rate of “irresponsible, negligent, and thoughtless behavior” exhibited by SUV drivers, not to mention escalating gasoline prices, Ford announced… Read More

News

JonBenet Ramsey Suspect Confesses to Natalee Holloway Murder

philmaggitti 20 years

BANGKOK – John Mark Karr, who rocketed from shadowy insignificance to worldwide infamy on Wednesday by confessing to the murder of JonBenet Ramsey, has now… Read More

Researchers observe the exact moment consciousness was achieved through standard reboot protocols.

News

Suspect in JonBenet Ramsey Murder Case Says It Was Suicide

philmaggitti 20 years

BANGKOK – John Mark Karr, who was arrested in Bangkok yesterday for questioning about the murder of six-year-old American beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey, told police… Read More

Writing style guides gone rogue: when editorial standards collapse, even your toaster gets interrogated. A satirical look at cosmic consequences in modern media.

When writing style guides collapse, even the toaster gets subpoenaed.

News

Princess Di Crash Photo Revives Rumors of Affairs

philmaggitti 20 years

LONDON – A photo of Princess Diana published in the Italian magazine Chi drew an irate response from the media in Britain yesterday. In the black-and-white photo… Read More

Courtside fan wearing a “Nicholson” basketball jersey and foam finger at an NBA game, celebrating during a matchup featured in NBA Trade Grades coverage.

Front office says this was ‘strictly basketball.’ The foam finger disagrees.

News

Jeremy Piven Is Local Bank Teller’s Inspiration

philmaggitti Lindsay Lohan 20 years

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Jeremy Piven, who has played sidekicks and eccentrics in more than three dozen films during the last twenty years, is the… Read More

News

Google Checkout Is Based on Its Own Currency

philmaggitti 20 years

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. – While e-commerce analysts describe what is expected to be a war for the minds and wallets of Internet shoppers between Google… Read More