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Candy, Little Girl

No lie. We've been at this shit for the better or the worse part of twenty-one years. Not many other satire sites can make that brag, humbly or otherwise. Sample an offering from our drop-dead, satisfaction-guaranteed menu, located beneath the box of chocolates below, and win a free puppy.

image of a Whitman's Sampler box of chocolates

Self-Satisfaction Guaranteed

image of old fashioned pinup girl calendar Book of Daze

Who celebrates
National Cupcake
Day? Or National
Registered Nurses
Day? National
Take Your Kid to
Work Day? Screw that and your kid, too. We celebrate the really fun daze that nobody else does.

patron saints for hire

How many saints can dance on the head of a pin? Damned if we know; but we do know that one (or more) of those dancing nancies has the cure for your hemorrhoids--or whatever the fuck else ails you. So tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you where to send your donation. Let us pray.

The Grammar Prick

image of the gramar prick

Meaner than a 250-pound, lesbian language arts teacher, the Grammar Prick will split your head if you dare to split an infinitive, not to mention confusing ironic and coincidental. Read on.

Politics

Politics

Alt-right Website Explains Difference Between Nazi and Roman Salutes

| 9 years Author Image philmaggitti 486 Views 2 min read

Dear Friedrich,I was on my way to a cell meeting the other day when I met a friend on the street who greeted me with a raised-arm salute. I wanted to return her greeting, yet I couldn’t tell whether she had given me a Roman or a Nazi salute, and I didn’t want to commit Read More

NewsPolitics

#blacklivesmatter Campaign Launched at Dunkin’ Donuts

| 10 years Author Image Biff Scuzzy 493 Views 3 min read

PROVIDENCE, R.I.—Dunkin’ Donuts’ new #blacklivesmatter campaign hit a speed bump after it had been rolled out in Providence, Rhode Island, last Friday. Matter of fact, the campaign hit a police cruiser when a Dunkin’ Donuts employee wrote “#blacklivesmatter” on the side of a patrolman’s coffee cup. “I paid for that fucking coffee,” said the officer, Read More

PoliticsYou Can't PhotoShop This

All-White Diversity Philly Magazine Cover: You Can’t Photoshop This

| 10 years Author Image philmaggitti 497 Views 1 min read

PHILADELPHIA—What do you get when a magazine runs a cover story about diversity in Philadelphia’s public schools and the photo of cherubic elementary school kids on the cover includes nary a brown, black, beige, tan, yellow, red, brindled, or burnt umber face—just seven cheerful white kids sitting on a low-slung brick wall, their iPhones and Read More

PoliticsYou Can't PhotoShop This

Black Lives Matter: You Can’t Photoshop This

| 10 years Author Image Biff Scuzzy 535 Views 1 min read

WEST GOSHEN TOWNSHIP, Pa.–Members of Fuk Yo Flag, a wholly owned subsidiary of Black Lives Matter, have taken to videos and blog posts to “suggest” acts of violence and thuggery on September 11. After posting a video recently that called for “open season on killing white people and cops,” a man who identifies himself as Read More

Politics

Obama Orders Name Change for Tomahawk Missiles

| 12 years Author Image philmaggitti 480 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON–Although he has not been able to persuade Congress to give him permission to bomb Syria, President Obama demonstrated yesterday that a president, no matter how beleaguered, still has some juice up his sleeve. In a brief ceremony held in the Rose Garden, the president issued an executive order changing the name of the Tomahawk Read More

Politics

Obama Allows Gas Stations and Bars to Begin Offering Flu Shots

| 12 years Author Image philmaggitti 493 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON–In a move that critics say is calculated to detract from the cluster fuck that passes for his Syria policy, President Obama signed an executive order yesterday authorizing gas stations and bars to begin offering flu shots. The order is an addendum to the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, the cluster fuck known as Read More

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Flash Fiction

image of a sign that says Flash Fiction

Most articles, books, movies, TV shows, and foreplay are twice as long as they need to be. Therefore, Postcards from the Pug Bus is devoted to promoting flash fiction. If you ask ten different people what flash fiction is, you'll get twelve different answers. At the Pug Bus all of our flash-fiction pieces are 50 words: full stop. Anything longer is longer than it needs to be. Read on

image of pug dogs looking out the back of a van
The Pug Bus Blog

Wherein our fearless editor in briefs, who turned eighty-two this year, holds forth and cracks wise about his disdain for soccer moms, feminists of both sexes, the evil that is Mick Jagger, the sorry-ass WNBA, the trans tyranny, the pronoun police, climate scolds, and other blots on the fucking landscape. Read on

The Pug Bus Interview

image of phil maggitti

Presenting the questions that nobody else has the wit or the sack to ask. Featuring an interview with Barry, ex-President Obama's neglected white half.  Read on

image of a loaded gun

Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

image of a round snarky-looking cartoon yellow face

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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