Destroying Sensitive Documents in an Air Fryer

Americans are abandoning traditional paper shredders in favor of destroying sensitive documents in an air fryer.

Known as “crisping,” the technique uses an air fryer’s convection winds to curl, brown, then cremate unwanted paperwork into artisanal ashes suitable for disposal, composting, or sprinkling discreetly over nachos.

“Crisping is much more satisfying than shredding,” said Randall Keating, 47, a corporate compliance consultant who has saved every appliance manual he has received since 2013.

“A shredder leaves evidence that there was evidence. The air fryer leaves something that looks like toasted oregano.”

Keating recommends crisping old tax returns at 390 degrees for eight minutes, shaking the basket halfway through “to ensure even destruction.”

Other popular candidates for crisping include embarrassing love letters, performance reviews, nondisclosure agreements, and screenplays written during periods of excessive confidence.

Experts warn against overcrowding the air fryer basket. Documents should be crisped in small batches with adequate space between pages to promote circulation and prevent sensitive financial information from remaining unpleasantly chewy around the edges.

Staples should also be removed beforehand, although Keating says paper clips provide “a surprisingly attractive char.

For particularly stubborn documents, Keating recommends a light misting of olive oil followed by two additional minutes at 400 degrees.

Keating recently crisped the only surviving copy of The Last Tomorrow, the 1998 screenplay he once predicted would “change cinema forever.”

“It was difficult,” he admitted. “But it came out beautifully.”

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