Everyone’s a Rock Star, Baby

Being a rock star used to involve leather, volume, and a willingness to disappoint your parents in public. Now it requires a LinkedIn profile and a decent headshot because rock star has been liberated from its natural habitat and is being attached to anyone who performs above baseline expectations without actually setting anything on fire.

Therefore, everyone is a rock star today. The dentist who explains flossing with unusual enthusiasm. The project manager who survives a meeting that should have been an email. The barista who spells your name correctly without visible strain. Each is elevated, briefly and ceremonially, into a pantheon that once included smashed guitars and hotel rooms.

Ironically, calling someone a rock star is the equivalent of damning with faint praise. It is what people say when they mean someone is impressive but they cannot be bothered to explain why. The term even covers surgeons, startup founders, substitute teachers who bring their own dry-erase markers, and anyone who has ever been applauded in a conference room. The result is a category so bloated it could headline its own festival, sponsored by bottled water and motion sickness pills.

A hospital administrator in Phoenix was recently described as a “rock star of patient flow,” a remarkable achievement considering that patient flow involves clipboards, quiet urgency, and an ongoing feud with the fax machine. The closest this administrator gets to a performance is signing off on toner invoices.

A regional sales manager at a mid-tier flooring company is known internally as a “rock star closer.” He wears quarter-zips, respects the CRM, and once celebrated a strong quarter with a second IPA. His tour consists of driving between Holiday Inns and explaining laminate options to people who regret asking

In a more spiritual register, a mindfulness coach in Marin County has been called a “rock star of stillness,” which feels like a category error. Her breakthrough session involves breathing exercises and a discussion of boundaries. No one throws anything. No one demands an encore. The only thing smashed is a vague sense of self.

Even the tech world, which enjoys its own mythology, cannot resist the rock star lanel. A product manager who successfully shepherds a minor app  through three rounds of stakeholder feedback is hailed as a “rock star of execution.” His biggest hit is a redesigned settings menu. It did numbers among people who enjoy toggles.

The people called rock stars are not unworthy, but the label does nothing for them. Indeed, it flattens distinct kinds of competence into a single noisy metaphor, then congratulates itself for the clarity. Actual rock stars, for their part, tend to involve risk, excess, and a willingness to confront a room full of strangers at high volume.

Everyone else is just doing their job, often well, perhaps brilliantly, and almost always without a fog machine. That ought to be enough.

Read more life-changing dispatches from a culture officially in decline by clicking here.

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