Local Man Only Plays Live Version of Phish Song “Tweezer”

Area resident Dennis Kowalczyk, 34, eagerly explains–without being asked–why the only version of the Phish song “Tweezer” he listens to is the one he heard at Red Rocks in 2021.

“The studio version of ‘Tweezer’ is fine,” Kowalczyk says, using the word “fine” the way a food critic might use it to describe gas station sushi. “But it’s missing the crucial thing that happened that night. Trey broke a string during his eighteen-minute solo and just kept shredding. You can hear him kind of laughing into the mic. That’s the real song. Everything else is a demo.”

Kowalczyk owns four audience recordings of “Tweezer.” He can describe the Red Rocks setlist, the crowd size, and the temperature outside the venue with a detail he cannot apply to his own work deadlines.

Friends confirm that  Kowalczyk never mentions this show without first confirming that his listener was not there. Moreover, Kowalczyk’ account of the broken string has grown by roughly ten seconds per telling since 2021.

At press time, Kowalczyk was overheard saying to a stranger at a coffee shop, “You had to be there,” while the stranger, who had in fact also been there, chose not to remain silent.

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