National Overthink Everything Day
(Because confidence is for cowards.)
Today we honor the sacred spiral. The noble tradition of turning a simple “k” text into a twelve-act Greek tragedy. Of replaying that thing you said in 2019 to your doctor. Of wondering if your barista really meant “have a nice day” or if your coffee was laced with contempt.
This is your day, anxious philosopher. Your Olympics. Your Super Bowl of self-doubt.
Should you go to that party? What if no one talks to you? What if everyone talks to you? What if you say something weird? What if you don’t say something weird and people think you’re boring? What if you are boring and weird?
We do not make decisions today; we make flowcharts. We don’t sleep. We stare at the ceiling and relitigate every conversation we had within the last twenty-four hours. We don’t live in the moment—we dissect it, autopsy it, and write a ten-page treatise interpreting what it might have meant.
As your thoughts mimic the rhythm of the spiral, beware the sirens who tell you “just relax.” That is a trap. That is how they seduce and control you until you hear yourself saying “you too” when the waiter tells you to enjoy your meal.
Embrace the chaos. Question everything. Especially this holiday. Is it real? Are you celebrating it wrong? Should you have picked a different one?
Exactly.
