Saturday, April 27, 2024
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Obama Unfriends Putin on Facebook, International Crisis Looms

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WEST CHESTER, Pa.–The Pug Bus learned overnight that President Barack Obama has unfriended Russian president Vladimir Putin on Facebook in retaliation for Mr. Putin’s offering temporary asylum to Edward Snowden. The news sent shock waves through the Facebook and international communities, triggering speculation of a return to Cold War status between the two nations.

“This is a big fucking deal,” said Vice President Joe Biden. “B-Rack has never unfriended anybody as far as I know,” he said, referring to Mr. Obama by his Facebook screen name. “He’s threatened to do it to John Boehner several times, but in the end B-Rack’s a consensus kinda guy.”

Mr. Putin was not available for comment, but a recent posting to his Facebook page (screen name “Putin This”), suggest he is not taking lightly to being unfriended.

“What is black on the outside and white on the inside?” Mr. Putin asked?
“An Oreo president,” came the reply.

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As yet no other members of the American or Russian hierarchies have unfriended their diplomatic or governmental counterparts, aside from Senator John McCain (R-AZ), who accidentally unfriended everyone on his Facebook account early today, something he has done several times in the past. Nevertheless many observers say that tension between the two nations has not been this high since the Cuban Missile Crisis.

“All it will take for an international Facebook war to break out will be for one hothead diplomat to unfriend all his Russian contacts,” said Secretary of State John Kerry. “From there it’s only a small step to an all-out Facebook war, and if that spreads to Twitter, the world might never be the same.”    

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