WASHINGTON‐House Republicans, who have been accused of being racists for wanting to impeach President Obama, have issued their strongest denial of that charge to date. In fact, it is their first denial because Republicans who want to impeach the president know it’s pointless to deny charges of racism.
A new impeachment-talking-points memo recently leaked to the Associated Press, however, indicates that the dogs of impeachment are about to start barking up a different tree.
“How can we be racists when the president is only half Negro,” asked Rep. Trey Radel (R-Fla.). “If you ask me, the real racists are the people who insist the president is black just so they can call us racists when we disagree with him.”
“If you want to call me a biracist, that’s fine with me,” said Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-Texas). “I just don’t think this country is ready for a biracial president. What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? You get a mule, that’s what; and what are mules? Sterile, just like the president. That’s why he can’t get anything done. He’s shooting legislative blanks.”
The Republicans’ new impeachment-talking-points memo claims that President Obama’s biracial status makes him “a walking, talking, one-man exercise in gridlock.” It lists the following examples of how the president’s “biracial tensions” make it almost impossible for him to make up his mind.
1. His white side calls Kanye West a jackass; his black side mocks Taylor Swift.
2. His white side identifies with Martha’s Vineyard; his black side with Trayvon Martin.
3. His white side likes Hootie and the Blowfish; his black side likes Justin Timberlake.
4. His white side thinks he was born in Hawaii: his black side knows better.
5. His white side thinks it’s cool to play hoops; his black side wished he had more hops.
6. His white side likes Fresh Prince of Bel Air: his black side likes Shameless.
7. His white side tweets Katie Perry; his black side tweets Jay Z.
8. His white side drinks Coors Lite in a glass; his black side drinks Colt 45 in a can.
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