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Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Sneakers or boots?

MB

Marnie Blotch, freelance sidewalk analyst

Currently overexplaining herself in Scranton, PA

Sneakers. Boots imply you have a plan, land, or at least a place where mud is respected. I need footwear that says I may exercise, flee, or stand in line for coffee while reconsidering my values.

DR

Doyle Rusk, seasonal gravitas consultant

Allegedly headquartered near Missoula, MT

Boots. Sneakers are for people who still believe life rewards agility. Boots admit the truth: the world is wet, uneven, and waiting to make a point. Also, they make disappointment sound better on gravel.

TC

Tilda Cramp, assistant deputy of unnecessary errands

Last reported circling a mall in Paramus, NJ

Sneakers in theory, boots in public. Sneakers suggest optimism. Boots suggest I have endured weather, retail lighting, and at least one conversation about parking. At my age, credibility begins at the ankle.

Klaus Harmony Tribute Band Will Rock 2011 Super Bowl

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 16 years

A German Klaus Harmony tribute band calling themselves the Wondercrotchens is scheduled to rock the 2011 Super Bowl, according to a National Football League spokesperson.… Read More

Bono Accused of Leaking New U2 Album

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 17 years

DUBLIN – U2 frontman, Bono, has been accused by his band mates of leaking the group’s new album, No Line on the Horizon, well in… Read More

Bruce Springsteen’s Hair Rocks Hartford

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 19 years

HARTFORD, Conn. – Bruce Springsteen’s hair kicked out the jams and took names at the Hartford Civic Center last night. Reunited with the E Street… Read More

Culture Music Sporting Life

Brad Pitt to Star in Barbaro the Musical

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music, sporting life 19 years

KENNETT SQUARE, Penna. – Brad Pitt, fresh off his triumph in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, is set to star in… Read More

Celebrity Shockers Music

Britney Spears’ New CD in Starbucks Tuesday

philmaggitti Britney Spears, cultural commentary, music 19 years

LOS ANGELES – The long-awaited new Britney Spears CD, Here I Come Again, will go on sale at all Starbucks outlets around the world on Tuesday.… Read More

Dixie Chicks Sweep Grammies, Ban Country Music Stations

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 19 years

LOS ANGELES – After sweeping the top three categories at the 49th annual Grammy Awards last night, the Dixie Chicks announced they would “sue the… Read More

Trey Anastasio Booted from Phish After Drug Bust

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 19 years

Trey Anastasio, guitarist and founding member of the acclaimed jam band Phish, has been asked to leave the group following his arrest for driving under… Read More

Rolling Stones Inspired by Super Bowl Appearance

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 20 years

The Rolling Stones came away from their high-energy, twelve-minute appearance at Super Bowl XL with a renewed enthusiasm about performing. The concert, which was hailed… Read More

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The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ The Department of Interior Weather requires all adults to carry a small overcast condition with them at all times. Officials described the phenomenon as “partly functional,” with scattered chances of pretending the sky is falling.

⚡ Researchers at the Center for Applied Futility report that 73 percent of household drawers contain at least one cable belonging to a device no one remembers owning. In drawers that contain more than one cable, the cables are thought to be breeding quietly behind the tape measure.

⚡ The National Council on Mild Alarms has upgraded the phrase “We need to talk” from a conversational advisory to a full-frontal emotional evacuation order. Residents are urged to remain calm, gather their dignity, and avoid replying, “About what?”

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly disguised as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval.

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

Read It All

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

You remember the thing you said—
not the words,
but the angle of them,
how they leaned slightly wrong
and stayed there.

A life is not ruined in grand gestures.
It goes soft at the edges first.
Corners round off. Standards blur.
You start calling things “fine”
that would have once kept you awake.

Which is the problem.

Because now you do sleep.

Beautifully. Efficiently.
Like someone who has made a series of
very small, very reasonable surrenders
and arranged them into a pillow.