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Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Sneakers or boots?

MB

Marnie Blotch, freelance sidewalk analyst

Currently overexplaining herself in Scranton, PA

Sneakers. Boots imply you have a plan, land, or at least a place where mud is respected. I need footwear that says I may exercise, flee, or stand in line for coffee while reconsidering my values.

DR

Doyle Rusk, seasonal gravitas consultant

Allegedly headquartered near Missoula, MT

Boots. Sneakers are for people who still believe life rewards agility. Boots admit the truth: the world is wet, uneven, and waiting to make a point. Also, they make disappointment sound better on gravel.

TC

Tilda Cramp, assistant deputy of unnecessary errands

Last reported circling a mall in Paramus, NJ

Sneakers in theory, boots in public. Sneakers suggest optimism. Boots suggest I have endured weather, retail lighting, and at least one conversation about parking. At my age, credibility begins at the ankle.

P. Diddy in a garish western outfit and cowboy hat, playing a guitar and singing"

"Oh give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above; don't fence me in."

Diddy Goes Country, Redemption in Rhinestones

philmaggitti Morgan Wallen, music 11 months

In a move that has left both hip-hop and country music fans scratching their asses, lady’s man Sean “Diddy” Combs has decided that the best… Read More

image of the country singer HARDY wearing a black T-shirt that reads "HARDY SUCKS"

"The HARDY boy makes good."

HARDY Rules!

Biff Scuzzy Morgan Wallen, music 12 months

HARDY’s COUNTRY! EP kicks dirt on Morgan Wallen’s album I’m the Problem and Eric Church’s Evangeline vs. the Machine. In a year filled with high-profile… Read More

The Rolling Stones Should Shrivel Up and Die

philmaggitti blog, music 7 years

Dear Mick, Keith, Charlie, and the Other Guy,I have learned recently that you stinking geezers will be touring next year. Please don’t. In the name… Read More

Rod Stewart Sings Frank Sinatra Jr. Songbook

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 9 years

British rocker Rod Stewart was born seventy-two years ago today. American singer Francis Wayne Sinatra (a/k/a/ “Frank Sinatra Jr”), who died last year at the… Read More

Music Sporting Life

Coldplay Criticized for Lily White Super Bowl Message

philmaggitti music, sporting life 10 years

NEW YORK—British musical act Coldplay may have graciously yielded the stage at the Super Bowl 50 Halftime Show to Bruno Mars and Beyonce Knowles, but… Read More

Blackwater, RIAA Join Forces to Combat Music Piracy

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 11 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Blackwater USA, the rogue security company accused of sport killing innocent civilians in Iraq, has agreed to provide “tactical enforcement capabilities” for… Read More

Paul McCartney CD Rocks the Home Shopping Network

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 16 years

Spoiler alert: if you’re a Paul McCartney fan with a weak heart, a receding hairline, or a “cool” kid on the debate team at high… Read More

Musicians Admit to Only Pretending to Like Pete Seeger

philmaggitti cultural commentary, music 16 years

Dave Matthews, Bruce Springsteen, and a host of musicians who have appeared with folk singer Pete Seeger during the last few years have admitted they… Read More

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ The Department of Interior Weather requires all adults to carry a small overcast condition with them at all times. Officials described the phenomenon as “partly functional,” with scattered chances of pretending the sky is falling.

⚡ Researchers at the Center for Applied Futility report that 73 percent of household drawers contain at least one cable belonging to a device no one remembers owning. In drawers that contain more than one cable, the cables are thought to be breeding quietly behind the tape measure.

⚡ The National Council on Mild Alarms has upgraded the phrase “We need to talk” from a conversational advisory to a full-frontal emotional evacuation order. Residents are urged to remain calm, gather their dignity, and avoid replying, “About what?”

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly disguised as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval.

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

Read It All

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

You remember the thing you said—
not the words,
but the angle of them,
how they leaned slightly wrong
and stayed there.

A life is not ruined in grand gestures.
It goes soft at the edges first.
Corners round off. Standards blur.
You start calling things “fine”
that would have once kept you awake.

Which is the problem.

Because now you do sleep.

Beautifully. Efficiently.
Like someone who has made a series of
very small, very reasonable surrenders
and arranged them into a pillow.