The Most Annoying Dog Breeds, According to Your Mail Carrier

HARRISBURG, Pa. — A safety committee representing mail carriers in southeastern Pennsylvania released its first ranking of the most annoying dog breeds, compiled from 4,112 incident narratives filed during six years.

Surprisingly German Shepherds placed 23rd. Rottweilers were 31st, one spot behind a goose in Lebanon County that was included because excluding it would have invalidated too many reports.

“People hear ‘annoying dog breeds’ and they picture something large,” said committee chair Raymond Ostrowski, 61, a Reading carrier who still wears the whistle issued to him in 1992. “Large dogs are professionals. They bark once, establish that you’ve been notified, and go back to watching you silently. The little ones want a meeting.”

The committee’s most annoying dog breeds, from least to most, are:
10. Yorkshire Terrier. Conducts the encounter from inside a shoulder bag. Carriers report that being threatened by a dog whose owner is searching beneath it for a pen makes the incident difficult to describe with dignity, especially when  the owner apologizes to the dog for the carrier’s presence.

9. Basset Hound. Earned its rank without moving. Its bark appears in 211 reports, none of which describe a dog standing up. One carrier initially reported two dogs, then amended the form after realizing the second bark was an echo coming from the garage.

8. Dachshund. Attacks below the sightline. “The Dachshund comes out from under the porch. By the time you look down, it has a grip on your shoe lace,” says Denise Kowalczyk, 54, an Allentown carrier who has kept a handwritten ledger of every dog on her route since 1998.

7. Jack Russell Terrier. Treats the mail slot as a clerical error through which a person will eventually fit. Carriers report seeing the same dog at three windows and the front door in a single delivery. “I used to think this lady had four of them,” Kowalczyk said. “Then I saw it change windows.”

6. Pug. No recorded bites. Placed sixth for “sustained respiratory disapproval,” in which the dog stands at the bottom of the steps and breathes at the carrier as though he were Napoleon Bonaparte until the carrier leaves.

5. Shih Tzu. Typically well groomed, typically wearing a bow. Carriers are advised that the bow reflects some else’s opinion, not the dog’s.

4. Pomeranian. Generates more incident narratives per pound, 31.6, than any other breed.  Tremaine Hollis, 38, a rural carrier out of Kutztown, described a Pomeranian in Fleetwood as “a dandelion that has been wronged.”

The dog has appeared in fourteen reports under its own name and six under “loose material approaching rapidly.”

3. Any Dog Behind a Window. Recognized as a breed after a 7–2 committee vote. “It’s the same dog everywhere,” Ostrowski said. “Different house, same dog. It thinks I’m there for the sofa.”

2. The Dog You Never See. Hollis has delivered to a fenced property in Berks County for five years without seeing the animal that growls from behind the fence. He files a Form 4471-D every week. “I mad 250 reports on an animal I couldn’t pick out of a lineup,” he said.

1. Chihuahua. Four  pounds of determined grievance. No carrier has been seriously injured by one, which the report attributes to the lack of a ladder rather than the lack of intent.

Gary Lutz, 66, a retired HVAC estimator in Mechanicsburg, claims his Chihuahua, Biscuit, is misunderstood. “He’s fine with everybody,” said Lutz. “He just doesn’t like people in uniforms, people carrying things, or people.”

The committee adjourned without deciding whether a cat sitting inside a mailbox should be reported on Form 4471-D, which applies only to dogs, or Form 2208-C, which covers obstructions. The question was tabled until March. The cat will continue receiving mail at that address.

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