Friday, December 8, 2023

When Francis Met Kim

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WASHINGTON, D.C.—His Supreme Excellency Pope Francis—in addition to meeting with the Harlem Globe Trotters, Vice-President “Meadowlark” Biden (who presented him with a photo of Mr. Biden’s late son, Beau), illegal immigrants, disabled illegal immigrants, and the AARP’s Seniors’ Transgender Alliance—also conspired to meet secretly with Kim Davis at the Vatican’s underground bunker in Washington, D.C.

According to Inside the Vatican, the meeting took place on Thursday, September 24, following Francis’ address to Congress and preceding his flight to New York City.

“Pope Francis received, spoke with, and embraced Kim Davis—the Kentucky County Clerk who was jailed in early September for refusing to sign the marriage licenses of homosexual couples who wished to have their civil marriages certified by the state of Kentucky. Also present was Kim’s [second and fourth] husband, Joe Davis.”

The Davises were in Washington because Kim was scheduled to receive a “Cost of Discipleship” award on Friday, September 25, from The Family Research Council at the Omni Shoreham Hotel. When the Pope learned that Mrs. Davis was going to be in Washington at the same time he was, he reached out to her via email.

When Pope Francis entered the meeting room, “Kim greeted him, and the two embraced,” per Inside the Vatican. There is, as yet, no record, photographic or otherwise, of their meeting, but a source close to the Vatican acknowledged that the Pope is “fascinated” by Mrs. Davis, who, he thinks, bears a resemblance to Mary Magdalen. Jesus, as you might recall, was not only fond of Ms. Magdalen but also, according to some New Testament scholars, knew her inside and out.

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Kim Davis later told Inside the Vatican that Pope Francis spoke to her in English, “and thanked me for my courage.” The two then bonded over a bucket of KFC extra-crispy and a large order of potato wedges. Following the meal, the pope offered to wash Mrs. Davis’ feet.

“At first I was hesitant,” said Mrs. Davis, “but when Francis assured me that there would be no one else in the room, I said OK.”

A source close to the Davis entourage, who was also close to the door of the room, reported hearing giggling and the pope imploring, “Per favore possa io lavare i graziosa della vagina?”

“It was an extraordinary moment,” Mrs. Davis said afterward. “‘Stay strong and douche frequently,’ he said to me. Then he gave me a rosary that he had blessed and this picture of some guy named Beau. He also gave a rosary to my husband, Joe. I broke into tears. I was deeply moved.

“Then he said to me, ‘Please pray for me.’ And I said to him, ‘Please pray for me also, Holy Father.’ And he assured me that he would pray for me.”    

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