December 2020 – postcards from the pug bus

President Trump Grants Emergency Sick Days to COVID-19 Victims

Biff Scuzzy 354 Views 1 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump is expected to sign a presidential order intended to alleviate the suffering of COVID-19 victims in the battered Dakotas region. Hurrying into the White House, wearing a defiant yellow slicker on his … Read on

Technology

Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes

philmaggitti 300 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, PA—The Killer Kwanzaa app, offered free through the Black Lives Matter (BLM) website, is suspected of forcing its way onto the tablets, mobile phones, and computers of selected persons who visit the BLM … Read on

Book of Daze

National Irregardless Day

philmaggitti 354 Views 2 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—We fucking love the sound of irregardless. It’s a four-syllable word from the wrong side of the dictionary, we know; but one should never send a three-syllable word to do the … Read on

Ass Hats

Whoopi Goldberg Is an Ass Hat for Sure

philmaggitti 284 Views 2 min read

WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—A gay, British, former friend of mine who was active in the animal rights movement … and, some whispered, active in the animal rights “underground” too … hated … Read on

Saints Alive

St. Theneva, Patron Saint of Breast Reductions

philmaggitti 492 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Pa. – Saint Theneva of Glasgow was a British princess who enjoyed the horizontal sports from an early age. Her fondness for frolic was something of an embarrassment to her father, Lord Seefeth, … Read on

The Grammar Prick

The Grammar Prick’s Lockdown Lessons

philmaggitti 282 Views 2 min read

I hope you boys and girls have been wearing your masks and practicing social distancing. Remember, good masks make good neighbors,and anyone who gets within six feet of you is … Read on

Technology

Biden Vows to Investigate Alarming Rise in GPS Malfunctions

philmaggitti 229 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President-elect Joseph R. Biden announced yesterday that “on Day One” he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate an alarming rise in GPS malfunctions. Although he stopped short of suggesting a link … Read on