President Trump Grants Emergency Sick Days to COVID-19 Victims
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump is expected to sign a presidential order intended to alleviate the suffering of COVID-19 victims in the battered
ContinueMonth: December 2020
Killer Kwanzaa App Suspected of Causing Computer Crashes
WEST CHESTER, PA—The Killer Kwanzaa app, offered free through the Black Lives Matter (BLM) website, is suspected of forcing its way
ContinueNational Irregardless Day
WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—We fucking love the sound of irregardless. It’s a four-syllable word from the wrong side of the dictionary,
ContinueWhoopi Goldberg Is an Ass Hat for Sure
WEST GOSHEN TWP, PA—A gay, British, former friend of mine who was active in the animal rights movement … and, some
ContinueThe NBA Can Go Fuck Itself
If I ever watch another minute of another NBA game, I hope the god that I don’t believe in strikes me
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St. Theneva, Patron Saint of Breast Reductions
WEST CHESTER, Pa. – Saint Theneva of Glasgow was a British princess who enjoyed the horizontal sports from an early age.
ContinueThe Grammar Prick’s Lockdown Lessons
I hope you boys and girls have been wearing your masks and practicing social distancing. Remember, good masks make good neighbors,and
ContinueBiden Vows to Investigate Alarming Rise in GPS Malfunctions
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President-elect Joseph R. Biden announced yesterday that “on Day One” he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate
ContinueAre You the Master of Your Bedroom?
The true conservative does not like anything to happen that has not happened before. He prefers old dogs, old friends, old
ContinueFive Signs That Your Karma Needs a Makeover
WEST GOSHEN TWP, Pa.–Karma, the law of moral causation, was invented more than 2,500 years ago in Northern India to answer
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