Celebrities

MALIBU – Britney Spears has hired a full-time Frappuccino caddy in an effort to convince California child welfare authorities that she is serious about regaining custody of her sons, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, … Read on

LOS ANGELES – After attending several meetings of DAMM (Drunks Against Mad Mothers), Britney Spears has decided to join the group, a former assistant revealed.

In an exclusive, off-the-record conversation with THEM Weekly, the one-time … Read on

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears is pregnant again, and the troubled singer is terrified she might lose custody of her vagina as a result. A source close to Ms. Spears, who turns twenty-six today, told … Read on

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Clay Aiken, who rode a second-place finish on American Idol and a don’t-ask-don’t-tell sexuality to fame, fortune, and speculation, is twenty-nine today. The artist formerly known as Clayton Holmes Grissom will … Read on

HOLLYWOOD – Now that High School Musical 3 is scheduled to begin filming next Valentine’s Day, Vanessa Hudgens, 18, has decided to put paid once and for all to the continuous rumors about the dozens … Read on

LONDON – Pop swinger Boy George was charged with foolish imprisonment, careless whispers, and reckless misapplication of foodstuffs today. The legal action was brought as a result of a complaint lodged against Mr. George by … Read on

MALIBU – Britney Spears is writing a self-help book in order to prevent “childrens everywhere” from making the same mistakes she’s made since her ill-advised, fifty-five-hour Las Vegas “marriage” nearly four years ago.

“I wisht … Read on

NORTH BERGEN, N.J. – George Clooney’s health records contain some personally embarrassing information, said a hospital health worker who was suspended after taking a secret peek at Mr. Clooney’s private annals.

“Persistent hemorrhoids, acute situational … Read on

OUTBACK, Utah – Recently clean actress Lindsay Lohan has narrowed her college choices to Harvard and Rochville universities, a spokesperson for the I Know Who Killed Me star said yesterday.

“Despite what nearly everybody thinks, … Read on

MALIBU – Britney Spears’ obsession with Princess Diana has Ms. Spears’ few remaining friends concerned. They fear the frazzled pop star may be planning to harm herself in some dramatic way in order to mimic … Read on

LOS ANGELES – A copy of the written driving test Britney Spears passed in order to obtain a temporary license has been leaked to THEM Weekly magazine.

The magazine was unable to learn Ms. Spears’ … Read on

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Britney Spears has been stripped of her citizenship, the White House revealed this morning. President Bush took this rare, but not unprecedented, step when he signed an executive order relieving Ms. Spears … Read on

LOS ANGELES – Jennifer Aniston’s new body is telling friends that it’s confident Ms. Aniston can compete with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for serious movie roles and magazine covers.

“There’s more to Jennifer Aniston … Read on

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears fans will stage a nude protest rally in front of the Staples Center this Saturday in support of “every mother’s right” to go naked around her children.

The rally, which … Read on

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears’ sons have refuted claims that her using drugs and walking around naked all the time represent a danger to their well being—or an impediment to their continued growth and social … Read on