Portly Singles Kicked Off BeautifulPeople.com Launch PrettyFaces.com

BOSTON, Mass. – Portly singles kicked off the elite dating site BeautifulPeople.com, the self-proclaimed “sexiest website in the world today,” are not taking their dismissal lying down. Many of the 5,000 people who were ruled off the site for porking up over the holidays are launching a new dating site called PrettyFaces.com.

“I was like, ‘Wow,’ when I got expelled from BeautifulPeople.com,” said glamrgurl245 (not her real name). “I mean, like, I might have put on two or three pounds over the holidays, but what’s the big deal? It’s not like I went from a size 0 to a size 2 or something.”

After Facebooking with several other “fatties” who had been off-loaded from BeautifulPeople.com, Ms. Gurl decided to launch PrettyFaces.com. The name, she said, is ironic.

“You know how people are always saying stuff like ‘such a pretty face’ when they see somebody fat like Jessica Simpson or Miley Cyrus? That’s where I got the idea for PrettyFaces.com.

The BeautifulPeople.com purge occurred after a number of members had complained that other members had let down the side by gaining weight over the holidays. This led site founder, Robert Hintze, to do some housecleaning.

“Letting fatties roam the site like a herd of wildebeests is a direct threat to our business model and to the very concept on which BeautifulPeople.com was founded,” Mr. Hintze declared.

Although PrettyFaces.com will have a “more inclusive, user-friendly” admission policy than BeautifulPeople.com, the site will still be “selective,” said Ms. Gurl.

“We’re not, like, going to let everybody in, even size 10s. If we start doing that, we’re, like, just another eHarmony”

In related news, according to a spokesperson for BeautifulPeople.com, the majority of people banned for being overweight park their salt licks in the United States, (1,520), the U.K. (832), and Canada (533).

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