🪦 Today’s Obituaries: The Death of Nuance
Nuance, beloved by philosophers, editors, and the occasional sober tweet, departed this realm on October 28, 2025, following a prolonged battle with algorithmic compression and public impatience. According to today’s obituaries, death occurred quietly in a comment thread beneath a video titled “This Changes Everything,” which it did not.
Born in the shadow of Socratic dialogue and raised by footnotes, Nuance spent its formative centuries weaving complexity into discourse. Most recently it often appeared uninvited at dinner parties and academic panels. It was known for its ability to hold two conflicting truths in the same sentence without combusting.
Nuance is survived by its estranged children, Hot Takes and Clickbait, both of whom declined to comment but did post n the form of reaction GIFs. Nuance is also survived by its distant cousins: Sarcasm, who remains in viable condition, and Irony, who was unavailable for comment because of scheduling conflicts with reality.
Nuance was predeceased by Context, who perished in a meme war, and Empathy, whose disappearance remains under investigation.
A memorial service will be held in the margins of a long-form essay no one will finish. Attendees are encouraged to dress in grayscale and speak only in dependent clauses. In lieu of flowers, mourners may donate their attention spans to a local library.
Nuance requested cremation, but the process was delayed due to semantic disagreements about the meaning of “ashes.”
Its final words were reportedly, “It is more complicated than that.”
May it rest in perpetual ambiguity.
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