April 2006 – Page 2 – postcards from the pug bus

Jennifer Aniston Is Friends with Money

Chip Hilton 452 Views 2 min read

CHICAGO – Art imitates Jennifer Aniston for the erstwhile Friends star in her latest vehicle, Friends with Money. The movie, which played to a packed house at Sundance this year, not only references the television vehicle that brought Ms. Aniston stardom but also exploits her current persona as a woman wronged. When the movie opens, Ms. Aniston’s character, Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Birthday Message to Her Sister, Jamie Lynn

T.J. Eckleburg 406 Views 1 min read

MALIBU – Happy fifteen, Lil’ Sis. Can you believe it? Fifteen already? Before ya know it, yule be married with a husband and a baby of yore own to support. Ha, ha. If that don’t make you wish you were fifteen again, nothing will. In the meantime, Lil’ Sis, don’t take anything for granite. Live Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Wedding Flashback 1: In the Beginning

Chip Hilton 410 Views 4 min read

BERLIN – Scientologist Tom Cruise flew to Germany a few days ago to announce that he and his pregnant fiancee, Katie Holmes, would be married this summer. Mr. Cruise told Bild, a German newspaper, that he “won’t let this woman get away,” which is something of an understatement as Ms. Holmes has been microchipped like a Read More

Celebrities

Jessica Simpson Fails Adoption Questionnaire

Biff Scuzzy 461 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Jessica Simpson stumbled over the first hurdle in her quest to adopt a Mexican baby. The singer-actress was able to answer only one out of eleven questions correctly on a preliminary adoption assessment form. The average score is 6.5. The passing grade is negotiable. A spokesperson for Ms. Simpson said she hopes to Read More

News

Jerry Garcia’s Toilet Stolen, Bill Walton Is Suspect

Biff Scuzzy 466 Views 3 min read

SONOMA, Calif. – Jerry Garcia’s toilet is missing, and local police want to speak to hall of fame basketball player Bill Walton. The salmon-colored, guitar-shaped commode with a hand-painted peace sign on the underside of the lid disappeared recently from a driveway along with three other toilets and a bidet, said a police spokesman. Mr. Read More

Religion

Pope John Paul II Fails to Deliver Miracles

Biff Scuzzy 473 Views 3 min read

ROME – This time last year the late Pope John Paul II appeared to be on the fast track to sainthood. Reports of two miracles alleged to have occurred at the pontiff’s tomb had Catholics the world over declaring that sainthood for their beloved pontiff was a done deal. In a cruel twist of fate, Read More

Celebrities

George Clooney Accused of Harassing Gawker Website

Chip Hilton 389 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – Batman star George Clooney has been accused of making hundreds of “childish and annoying phone calls” to the office of Gawker.com, the website that publishes detailed information about celebrity sightings in Manhattan. According to Gawker.com editor, Jessica Coen, who made the accusation, the calls began last Friday after Mr. Clooney had suggested that celebrities’ Read More