National Archive Opens Department of Unfinished Projects
The federal government has announced the creation of the National Archive’s Department of Unfinished Projects, a permanent repository dedicated to abandoned projects, discontinued hobbies, and personal endeavors that achieved peak enthusiasm shortly before complete neglect.
Department officials described the collection as an essential historical resource documenting “the gap between who Americans believe they are on Monday and who they become by Thursday afternoon.”
The Department of Unfinished Projects will preserve thousands of artifacts, including guitars mastered through exactly two chords, bread machines used twice before becoming permanent countertop monuments, podcasting equipment purchased during temporary bursts of confidence, and manuscript folders bearing titles such as FINAL_FINAL_REVISED_7.
“We’ve spent centuries preserving completed accomplishments,” said Margaret Fiske, 61, deputy director of archival outreach and former competitive scrapbooking enthusiast whose unfinished family photo album currently ends in August 2019. “Frankly, that presents a distorted picture of human civilization.”
Among the archive’s first donors was Leonard Crumley, 47, insurance adjuster, of Dayton, Ohio. Crumley donated a telescope purchased during a three-week astronomy phase that ended after he realized most stars appear remarkably similar to other stars.
“It’s comforting knowing future generations will study my commitment issues,” Crumley said. “The telescope cost $1,400. The hobby lasted until the second mosquito.”
Another contributor, Denise Harlan, 38, assistant bank manager, of Boise, Idaho, donated a complete set of watercolor supplies purchased after watching seven minutes of an online tutorial.
“The brushes remained untouched for so long they became a different kind of art project,” Harlan explained.
Curators have also accepted business plans, language-learning subscriptions abandoned after lesson four, exercise equipment functioning primarily as decorative clothing racks, and journals containing exactly one inspirational entry followed by several years of silence.
Particular excitement surrounds the archive’s growing collection of unpublished novels. One manuscript consists entirely of a title page, a dedication, and a note reading, “Need stronger opening.”
Archivists estimate the average American begins eight personal projects annually and completes approximately one and a half, depending on how generously completion is defined.
The Department of Unfinished Projects will open to the public this fall. Visitors are encouraged to wander through exhibits, feel briefly inspired, and then leave before reading all the informational placards.
Museum officials expect attendance to be strong during the first week. After that, interest should decline in a manner consistent with the collection itself.
Want more life-changing dispatches from a culture officially in decline? Click here if you dare.
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