County Man, 83, Fined for Burning a MAGA Hat

Richard Cross, 83, of  Chester county, Pennsylvania, spent forty minutes Saturday afternoon burning a MAGA hat in a Weber charcoal grill in his backyard before being cited for violating his  township’s outdoor-trash-burning ordinance.

Cross, a retired advertising account executive who still owns fourteen neckties he describes as “perfectly serviceable,” said his political reawakening began three weeks ago when he read about an ICE detention case in Clearfield County involving a quadriplegic and “got so mad I couldn’t finish my overnight oats.”

Soon he had signed up for Bluesky. Next he was telling his mail carrier that he now identifies as “fiscally moderate, socially furious.”

“He used to talk to me about the deficit,” said neighbor Carol Rzepka, 71, a retired dental receptionist who has reported the same pothole to the township eleven times. “Now he corners me about due process. It’s a whole new Richard.”

The hat-burning ceremony drew six curious neighbors, a citronella candle, and Penny, Cross’ mixed-breed dog,  who sat ten feet from the grill and appeared unwilling to take a position.

Cross’ wife, Diane, read a short statement she described as “not a eulogy, more of a release form.”

The ceremony ended when township code-enforcement officer Randall Mertz, 37,  arrived and issued Cross a $75 citation for burning synthetic material during a restricted period.

Cross attempted to explain the First Amendment. Mertz explained the township fire code. Their dialog remained civil.

Asked whether his political transformation was permanent, Cross said he would “circle back” after the midterms, but  disclosed that he had ordered a bumper sticker that says RECOVERING.

Neighbors report that  the Weber has not been used to cook  food since the ceremony. Cross says it needs time to heal.

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