Mobile Phone Virus Threatens United States
SAN FRANCISCO – Cabir, the first in-the-wild mobile phone virus discovered in the United States, is set to wreak havoc on the lives of teen-agers,… Read More
Author: Biff Scuzzy
Porsche Denies Plans to Release Nikki Catsouras Model
ATLANTA – A spokesman for Porsche Cars North America denies that his company has “any plans whatsoever” to introduce a limited edition Nikki Catsouras 911… Read More
Clay Aiken Birthday Quiz, Exclusive
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Clay Aiken, who rode a second-place finish on American Idol and a don’t-ask-don’t-tell sexuality to fame, fortune, and speculation, is twenty-nine today. The… Read More
McNabb Out of Patriots Game, Spread Falls to Sixteen
PHILADELPHIA – Las Vegas oddsmakers have reacted to the news that Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb will miss tomorrow night’s game against the undefeated New… Read More
Wolf Blitzer Found Beaten After Presidential Debate
CNN veteran newsman Wolf Blitzer was found bloody, naked, and unconscious in his dressing room last night following the Democratic presidential candidates’ debate at the… Read More
Boy George Accused of Foolish Imprisonment
LONDON – Pop swinger Boy George was charged with foolish imprisonment, careless whispers, and reckless misapplication of foodstuffs today. The legal action was brought as… Read More
George Clooney Health Records Reveal Hemorrhoids, Incontinence
NORTH BERGEN, N.J. – George Clooney’s health records contain some personally embarrassing information, said a hospital health worker who was suspended after taking a secret… Read More
Madeleine McCann Sightings Impede Investigation
LONDON – The latest Madeleine McCann “sighting” confirms an ironic phenomenon: sightings of the missing four-year-old are impeding the search for her by siphoning away… Read More