Kirstie Alley Pimps Organic Scientology Diet on Oprah
Professional fat woman Kirstie Alley has emerged from the den where she hibernates with her bratwurst during the winter. Ms. Alley hauled her sagging, cellulite-ridden,… Read More
Author: Biff Scuzzy
New Orleans Saints Fans Angry Following Super Bowl Win
NEW ORLEANS – The New Orleans Saints’ victory parade was rained on by Las Vegas odds makers, who installed the Indianapolis Colts as 13:2 favorites… Read More
Angelina Jolie Taking Toll on Brad Pitt
LOS ANGELES – Brad Pitt’s friends are worried that his relationship with Angelina Jolie is taking a fearsome toll on the once boyishly handsome actor.… Read More
Food Network Announces Iron Chef Cannibalism Series
NEW YORK – Despite the success of the The Next Iron Chef last year, the Food Network is in danger of being pushed to near-campy irrelevance—the worst… Read More
Mark McGwire Admits to Using Prayer to Gain Competitive Edge
NEW YORK – During a fifty-minute interview with Bob Costas on the MLB Network yesterday, former St. Louis Cardinals slugger Mark McGwire confessed tearfully that… Read More
There’s Trouble in The Dog Whisperer’s Paradise
LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Who doesn’t love Cesar Millan? The munchkin figure, the sun-god smile, the cute, spikey hair, those preternaturally white teeth, that funny ogg-sent.… Read More
NuvaRing Launches New Marketing Campaign
WHITEHOUSE STATION, N.J.- NuvaRing, the world’s largest round contraceptive device, has seen its image go pear shaped owing to a dungstorm of lawsuits filed on… Read More
President Obama Plans Portuguese Water Dog Bailout
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Having asked Congress for three trillion dollars to bail out banks, mortgage scofflaws, the educational system, health care, and the Recording Industry… Read More