philmaggitti, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus

Editorial illustration for Preparing for Your 65th High School Reunion. A navy blazer hangs like ceremonial armor, with a glowing name tag. Below, grooming items—shaving brush, razor, cologne, comb—are arranged like sacred tools. On the right, a cocktail glass, pain reliever bottle, and flickering candle suggest ritual preparation. Background evokes a mythic school gymnasium with textured beige tones and faint echoes of banners.

Name tag’s glowing, blazer’s pressed—time to outlive the competition.

Remembrance and Reckoning: Preparing for a High School Reunion, #65

Let us not pretend that your high school reunion is only about nostalgia, especially if it is the sixty-fifth reunion and you went to an… Read More

Talor Swift's corset illustration appears on Gutfeld! to explain what she meant in the song "Wood."

"Ya see, wood means ..."

Culture

Taylor Swift’s Corset Declares Its Independence

philmaggitti cultural commentary 7 months

Taylor Swift’s Corset has rejected its status as mere accessory and now operates as a sovereign diplomatic entity with its own press credentials, velvet entourage,… Read More

When the zodiac’s HR department stops returning emails.

Horoscopes

Imaginary Horoscopes for Real People

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

The stars have been raw dogging again, and their output today–Imaginary Horoscopes for Real People–resembles that of a malfunctioning AI with an astrology fetish and… Read More

A man in ornate robes laughs uncontrollably, embodying The Day of Laughing Until You Cry—a canonical entry in the Perfect-day-Taxonomy.

Fourteen?!? Only 14? You kidding me?

Culture

The Fourteen Flawless Days of the Caliph: A Perfect-day-Taxonomy

philmaggitti cultural commentary 7 months

In the twilight of his reign, 912 to 961 CE, Abd al-Rahman III Caliph of CÃ³rdoba, master of palaces, gardens, harems, and armies–sat beneath the… Read More

Four new Crocs styles arranged against a beige background — a red cosmic platform pair, black LED-lit clogs, gray fuzzy Crocs, and green holographic Croc boots glowing faintly — showcasing the absurd extremes of new Crocs styles.

Looking for a shark to jump.

Culture

New Crocs Styles Have Exhausted Every Option Known to Man

philmaggitti cultural commentary 7 months

If you thought Crocs had already pushed the boundaries of weird footwear, get ready to weep. It is official: New Crocs Styles have exhausted every… Read More

A humorous illustration showing a frustrated man trying to assemble a collapsed chair while holding a confusing manual. The scene includes a disgruntled cartoon instruction manual and a cheerful garden gnome. Above them, a banner reads “READ THE INSTRUCTIONS FIRST,” highlighting the chaos that ensues when the advice is ignored.

Emotional bracket my foot…

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Read the Instructions First Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 7 months

Read the Instructions First was written by an unemployed Sentient Blender with a Dual Ph.D. in Astrophysics and Italian Literature, and Self-Confidence Issues. The Read… Read More

Relax—time is refunding your bad decisions.

Horoscopes

Backward Horoscopes We Didn’t See Coming

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

Fellow babies: buckle up for the collapse of linear time and all that it implies. There go the Backward Horoscopes We Didn’t See Coming. Catch… Read More

Illustration titled 'Top Ten Phish Tunes That Should’ve Stayed in the Practice Room' featuring a cartoon guitarist strumming a red electric guitar and pointing to a colorful ranking chart of ten Phish songs.

Ten of Phish’s most questionable tunes, because even legends have off days.

Top Ten Lists

🎸Top Ten Phish Tunes That Should Have Stayed in the Practice Room

philmaggitti top ten lists 7 months

Ah, the Top Ten Phish Tunes That Should’ve Stayed in the Practice Room, tunes that even the most devoted wooks pretend don’t exist. Let’s dive… Read More