philmaggitti, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus

On Take Your Emotional Support Houseplant to Work Day a weary office worker pushes a tall leafy ficus strapped into a yellow rolling desk chair with a seatbelt and visitor badge, while surprised coworkers peek over cubicle walls beneath harsh fluorescent lights.

Do not talk to me until I have had my photosynthesis.

Book of Daze: Take Your Emotional Support Houseplant to Work

Human beings are not the only ones who suffer in silence at the office. On take your emotional supporth houseplant to work, we honor the… Read More

Offbeat horoscopes ride a neon zodiac carousel.

Horoscopes

Offbeat Horoscopes That Refuse to Behave

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

Offbeat horoscopes for seekers who do not need cosmic hugs or fortune-cookie wisdom. Fresh, sly, and occasionally useful, like gossip from the stars that almost… Read More

Stuck in an elevator with his eight-year-old conscience: a weary man in a wrinkled suit clutching coffee and a leaking briefcase faces his younger self holding a rubber dinosaur beside half-open doors revealing cosmic filing cabinets labeled ‘Unfulfilled Dreams.

Blog

Stuck in an Elevator with My Eight-year-old Self

philmaggitti blog 7 months

There are elevators that simply malfunction, and there are elevators that malfunction in ways that make you question every decision you have ever made. When… Read More

A cheerful parade to remember 1969 set against a bright white background with pastel confetti falling. A silvery Apollo lunar-module float rolls by, flanked by fringe-vested marchers tossing lavender love beads. A Mets-cap marching band in faded denim carries a banner with a heart, peace sign, and baseball symbol. Nearby, a creamy fondue pot on a pedestal wears a golden tiara. Children on the curb wave tiny shag-carpet swatches in celebration of the groovy year.

"All you need is love ..."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Remember 1969 Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 7 months

Let us raise a chipped jelly-jar glass and remember 1969, that lawless commune of twelve months when mankind went to the Moon, but most of… Read More

Now pick a card, darling—your fate’s about to get fabulous and mildly cursed."

Horoscopes

Her Majesty’s Satanic Horoscopes™

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

Welcome, doomed disciples of the astral abyss. Her Majesty has consulted the infernal tea leaves, cross-referenced them with yak entrails, and summoned a fresh heap… Read More

A surreal voice for Alexa from the “Top Ten New Alexa Voices” editorial series. “The Cryptid Concierge,” a Sasquatch-like creature with shaggy golden-brown fur, seated at a vintage radio console deep in a misty forest. Wearing headphones and glasses, the cryptid speaks into a retro microphone.

Did I calibrate the foghorn correctly … or did I just summon the elk council again?"

Top Ten Lists

Ten New Alexa Voices

philmaggitti top ten lists 7 months

Let’s crack open the cosmic voice vault and summon ten New Alexa Voices, each one a mythic upgrade from the current sterile defaults. These are… Read More

A would-be guru in a sagging bathrobe perches wobbling on an upside-down laundry basket, hands frozen in a remote-control mudra while a barbecue rib smolders as incense—an unholy tableau of meditation secrets gone wrong.

"Inner peace, outer wobble … and now I smell like brisket."

News

Meditation Secrets the Gurus Do Not Want You to Know

philmaggitti news 7 months

You will need three things: a bathrobe with no belt, year-old flip-flops, and the remains of last weekend’s barbecue ribs. Those are all the meditation… Read More

“Oh no, not I, I will survive. Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive.”

Horoscopes

Free Horoscopes to Good Homes

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

Welcome, seeker of free horoscopes and questionable life advice. The stars are drunk, the toaster is clapping, and your destiny just tripped over a houseplant.… Read More