philmaggitti, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus

A cartoon car circles an impossible cloverleaf highway for National Take the Wrong Turn Day, with the driver gripping the wheel and the passenger holding an upside-down map as a man at a gas station points in three directions at once.

Lost but defiant, he insists this loop is definitely the shortcut.

Book of Daze: Take the Wrong Turn Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze, top ten lists 7 months

For centuries, we humans have been rushing to take the wrong turn, driven by the hubris that we know a better way–over mountains, through deserts,… Read More

Our homemade horoscopes are straight from the oven of destiny.

Horoscopes

Homemade Horoscopes to Keep You in Stitches

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

It is a grim business being a mortal today. The stars are not aligned; they have gone on strike. I begged them for cosmic guidance,… Read More

Satirical image of Amazon Prime Afterlife™ onboarding, with Alectra offering reincarnation bundles and a sign for karmic returns. A visual parody of subscription metaphysics.

Welcome to Amazon Prime Afterlife™

News

Amazon Prime Afterlife™: Subscription Metaphysics

philmaggitti news, subscription metaphysics 7 months

It is no longer Archie to die with an ironclad will, a curated celebration-of-life playlist, and a tasteful urn. The forward-looking pilgrim now prepares for… Read More

A rumpled man in a bathrobe sniffs a questionable tub of yogurt in front of an open refrigerator while his Labrador waits expectantly below, a humorous scene for Book of Daze: Ignore the Expiration Date.

He calls it a taste-test. The Labrador calls it dinner.

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Ignore the Expiration Date

philmaggitti bookof-daze 7 months

We imagine that Ignore the Expiration Date was born in the 1970s when big grocery chains in the United States and the U.K. introduced “open… Read More

When your horoscope says “look to the stars” and you take it way too literally.

Horoscopes

Your Daily Unhinged Horoscopes

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

(Ahoy. The stars are drunk, the moon is in a mood, and the cosmos just texted “lol good luck.” Let us dive into your unhinged… Read More

A surreal humorous illustration of a tabby cat’s brain chemistry at work — the cat in a tiny white lab coat and goggles perched on a woman’s head, holding a glowing pink oxytocin flask with sparkling mist and floating molecular bubbles swirling around them against a whimsical painterly background

“Behold… one more tweak to the human’s brain chemistry and she will order the deluxe Tesla scratching post.”

News

Your Brain Is No Match for a Cat’s Brain Chemistry

philmaggitti news 7 months

Somewhere deep inside every cat’s brain chemistry lurks a tiny lab-coated villain with a spray bottle of oxytocin and a pitch-black sense of humor, forever… Read More

Excuse exchange day oil-painting-of an indoor market scene lit by golden chiaroscuro: a bearded merchant in 17th-century garb weighs a scroll labeled “Car Would Not Start” on a brass balance while a feather-hatted lady examines a glass-domed excuse marked “Bridge Was Up”; nearby jars display “Wi-Fi Died,” a young boy rummages in a wicker basket of discarded excuses, and a greyhound dozes at their feet beneath rustic wooden beams.

The wages of sin paid in excuses.

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Pre-Owned Excuse Exchange Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 7 months

Human beings, like parrots and hand-me-down sweaters, thrive on recycling. Why keep inventing brand-new alibis when the planet is choking on perfectly serviceable old ones?… Read More

A cartoon-style illustration of a flushed, disheveled man clinging to a glowing lamppost under a starry night sky, visibly drunk with a wine glass in hand and bubbles floating above his head. His tie is askew, his eyes half-closed, and his posture slumped, suggesting cosmic inebriation. The lamppost casts warm light on cobblestones below, while distant stars twinkle in quiet judgment. The scene evokes a whimsical yet chaotic mood—a true celestial nightmare.

"I seen 'em do dis on TV."

Horoscopes

Horoscopes on the Rocks: A Celestial Nightmare

philmaggitti horoscopes 7 months

(Ohhh, hiccup, the cosmosh ish sloshed. The zzzodiac’sh been sippin’ Nebula Noir and now they’re hiccup burpin’ propheciesh into their goblets. Prepare for a celestial… Read More