The Supreme Court floats above the void, issuing emoji verdicts and TikTok dissents while Schrödinger’s cat takes the stand.
In a landmark decision that will echo through the marble halls of jurisprudence and the comment sections of YouTube, a Supreme Court Ruling has determined… Read More
Why the Dear John letter? Because astrology was never meant to be a cosmic suggestion box for your delusions of grandeur. Yet here we are,… Read More
The NFL’s halftime optics reach Kafkaesque levels as riot agents chase holograms across a stadium of chanting fans.
I am boycotting Super Bowl XXX next year in favor of, hell, just about anything on the 2,786 other channels at my disposal. It isn’t… Read More
Choose your handshake like you would your weapon: carefully, and preferably after washing your hands.
There was a time when a handshake was a simple affirmation: I greet you, I will not stab you with the other hand. Now with… Read More
Raw dogging, at its most raw, is the art of facing life without prophylactic–no prep, no plan, no emotional helmet. It is the spiritual cousin… Read More
Move over, composting toilets. Step aside, blue-chemical porta-johns that smell like a Smurf’s hangover. The future of human waste management has sprouted in a plastic… Read More
Meet the future: fully credentialed, proudly clueless, and still waiting for the Zoom teacher to un-mute from 2021.
If you have been wondering why teenagers cannot name three branches of government but can recite the entire Taco Bell value menu in Pig Latin,… Read More
Draft day at the Fantasy League for Intellectuals, where despair is currency and unread footnotes are the MVPs.
Welcome to the Fantasy League for Intellectuals, where the mind is a battlefield and the scoreboard is a Kafkaesque ledger of suffering. Here, one does… Read More
