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Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Clowns or Mimes?

Marjorie Finkelstein, 64, retired dental hygienist

318 Willow Street, Scranton, PA

Mimes. At least they have the decency to suffer in silence. A clown wants you to participate in his emotional problems while he honks a horn and falls down. I spent thirty-seven years looking into people's mouths. I have had enough forced entertainment.

Raymond Bickford, 51, commercial refrigeration technician

76 Chestnut Lane, Akron, OH

Clowns. You know where you stand with a clown. He has enormous shoes, a drinking problem, and a car full of accomplices. A mime pretends to be trapped in an invisible box and expects applause. My brother-in-law has been doing that at Thanksgiving for twenty years. Nobody pays him.

Sheila Lattimore, 47, assistant county tax assessor

142 Birch Road, Des Moines, IA

Mimes, provided they remain outdoors. I once hired a clown for my daughter's birthday party. He arrived forty minutes late, smelled like gasoline, and asked whether we had a ladder. The children still talk about it. My daughter is twenty-three.

"Trigger Warning"

News

Thousands of Obamacare Exchange Shoppers Routed to Porn Site

philmaggitti 17 years

WASHINGTON–The much-anticipated rollout of Obamacare had its lighter moments yesterday when thousands of Americans who went shopping for health-care coverage online were routed… Read More

Friedrich Nietzsche sits alone at a wooden table in a stark white room, surrounded by surreal stacks of endless cards, a darkly comic scene echoing the futility of self-help books.

Self-help books sold separately. For good reason.

News

Corey Haim or Corey Feldman Found Dead of Drug Overdose

philmaggitti 17 years

HOLLYWOOD – Actor Corey Haim, 38, or actor Corey Feldman, 38, was pronounced dead at Providence Saint Joseph Medical Center in Burbank,… Read More

""This sure beats the old math."

News

Did SeaWorld Trainer Dawn Brancheau Commit Suicide?

philmaggitti 17 years

ORLANDO – As SeaWorld prepares to reintroduce its Dancing with Killer Whales program this weekend, rumors have begun rising, like tiny bubbles of blood to… Read More

News

Patrick Kennedy Retires to Spend More Time on Facebook

philmaggitti 17 years

PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Patrick Joseph Kennedy II, who has represented Rhode Island’s 1st congressional district since 1995, announced earlier this week that he would not… Read More

Courtside fan wearing a “Nicholson” basketball jersey and foam finger at an NBA game, celebrating during a matchup featured in NBA Trade Grades coverage.

Front office says this was ‘strictly basketball.’ The foam finger disagrees.

News

Viagra Vision Loss Blamed in Senior Citizen Fire

philmaggitti 17 years

EXTON, Penna. – A seventy-two-year-old man set fire to his apartment in the Sunrise Acres retirement facility last night after he had tried to light… Read More

Person clicking “Agree” on endless terms and conditions updates at a kitchen table, surrounded by unread legal pages and quiet digital surrender.

You read every word. Legally, anyway.

News Weed

AARP Head Announces Support for Legalized Pot

philmaggitti marijuana 17 years

WASHINGTON – The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) will sponsor a smoke-in to promote the group’s campaign to legalize marijuana. The weekend event, called… Read More

News

SpaghettiOs Creator, Donald Goerke, Chokes to Death, Uh-Oh

philmaggitti 17 years

CAMDEN, N.J. – Donald Goerke, the man who put the “Oh” in SpaghettiOs, choked to death Sunday night while eating his customary bedtime snack of… Read More

On Book of Daze Work Naked Day a naked man from the waist up, wearing a king's crown

"I did it my way."

News

Taylor Swift Plans Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons

philmaggitti 17 years

Country artist Taylor Swift, 20, announced on her website yesterday that she plans to open a chain of anal bleaching salons this summer. Ms. Swift,… Read More