Friday, September 22, 2023

Jennifer Aniston Pregnant or in Denial about Vince Vaughn

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CHICAGO – Jennifer Aniston is either pregnant or in denial about her breakup with Vince Vaughn, or possibly both. These conflicting reports emerged following Ms. Aniston’s appearance at a taping for The Oprah Winfrey Show last week. They were provided by moles who had attended the taping at the request of several gossip magazines.

“Jen sure looked like she had something to hide,” said People magazine’s plant, Debbi Bidewell, an unwed mother of two from Gary, Indiana.

According to Ms. Bidewell, who described Ms. Aniston as “even more beautiful in person than she is in pictures,” the thirty-seven-year-old actress wore a black, tiered skirt and a blousy, white peasant top.

“If that doesn’t scream ‘baby bump,’ I don’t know what does,” said Ms. Bidewell, who declined to say what she had been paid by People to attend the taping.

Suzi Hartman, representing InTouch Weekly, did not think the white peasant top made Ms. Aniston look pregnant, though she did observe that Ms. Aniston is “much prettier in person than she is in pictures.”

A telemarketer from Skokie, Illinois, who is currently “between jobs,” Ms. Hartman thought Ms. Aniston looked as if she had had “some boob work” recently.

Not so, said Margi Blunt, a school-crossing guard who “played hooky” from her job to “go undercover” for US Weekly.

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“Jen told Oprah that her boobs looked bigger these days because she gained a little weight, and when she gains weight, it goes right to her chest. Tara Reid has the same problem.”

Paying “talkarazzi” to report on shows like Oprah before they’re aired is the latest attempt to get a jump on the competition in the dog-eat-dog world of gossip magazines.

“Sure, we employ talkarazzi,” said InTouch associate editor Blaine Cooper. “They bring us authoritative information that we can run with before it becomes news.”

Such information may vary from one talkarazzi to another—even when they’re reporting from the same accident scene. Ms. Bidewell, for example, said that Ms. Aniston “rolled her eyes” when she was asked about Vince Vaughn.

“That told me she’s so over Vince it isn’t worth talking about,” said Ms. Bidewell, noting that Ms. Aniston’s eyes “look more green in person than they do in pictures.”

Ms. Blunt, however, saw it differently.

“Jen wasn’t rolling her eyes, she was blinking like she was trying to hold back tears. It’s obvious she’s in total denial about her breakup with Vince.”

Ms. Aniston appeared on Oprah to plug Room 10, a short film she co-directed. Room 10 is docu-comedy about Debra LaFave, the Florida middle school teacher who had sex with one of her students in a portable classroom during a fire drill. The film—which features a cameo appearance by Snoop Dogg, who plays himself—is part of Glamour magazine’s “Reel Moments” series.

In other news, Clint Eastwood angrily denied that one of the soldiers who took part in the re-enactment of the flag raising at Iwo Jima—which features prominently in his new film, Flags of Our Fathers—was gay.    

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