Sunday, April 28, 2024
Celebrities

Jessica Simpson’s Chateau Marmont Adventure

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HOLLYWOOD – Jessica Simpson spent Tuesday night at Hollywood’s storied Chateau Marmont, “the place where things happen.” Photos taken of Ms. Simpson as she entered the infamous hideaway in the evening and as she left the following morning suggest that something did indeed happen in the meantime. The question is what, and it begs several questions of its own.

Ms. Simpson arrived at Chateau Marmont wearing jeans, open-toed shoes, an ill-advised top, and a furtive expression. She was carrying a white bag of the sort that people use to smuggle pets onto airlines.

Chateau Marmont, for those of you born and raised in a red state, is the place to feel “the heat, the sweat, the late night lust that is L.A.” John Belushi died there; countless celebrities and their liaisons dangereuses have lived large there.

“If you must get into trouble,” said Harry Cohn, founder of Columbia Pictures, “do it at the Chateau Marmont.”

At some point during her Chateau Marmont adventure Ms. Simpson was photographed in the company of Jewel, one of the stars of Lilith Fair. In the photograph Ms. Jewel is wearing a casual, semi-transparent yellow top wholly inappropriate for evening wear—and a shiny forehead inappropriate for any time of day.

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The next morning Ms. Simpson was photographed leaving Chateau Marmont wearing the same jeans and shoes and carrying the same bag she had the night before. Ms. Jewel was nowhere in sight; neither was the unfortunate black-and-white top. It had been replaced with what appeared to be a gentleman’s shirt. The slight curl evident in Ms. Simpson’s hair the preceding evening had also been replaced. Her furtive expression, too, was gone, and in its place was a walk-of-shame look.

As we said earlier, all of this begs several questions.

Question 1: What is the nature of Ms. Jewel’s relationship with Ms. Simpson? Is Ms. Jewel merely a shoulder to lean on and a source of feng shui advice—or is she something more?

Question 2: Were you believing that black-and-white top?

Question 3: What was in the white bag? The abridged Oxford English Dictionary? The boxed set of Yanni’s Greatest Hits? Several battery-
operated devices?

Question 4: Who is the owner of the shirt Ms. Simpson wore as she left Chateau Marmont?

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